Saturday, March 03, 2007

Lore and Order by Ian McLean

Professional Star Trek authors beware:

... a "Next Generation" fanzine story, in a poetic style that began to feel very reminiscent of Dr Seuss when I was originally composing it. First published in "Klingons over Kiron III", (c) November 1991. It seems somehow appropriate to reprint it in the week of The Cat in the Hat's 50th birthday - which was, coincidentally, the very same day as my brand new Lore action figure (from Diamond Select toys/Art Asylum) arrived from the USA!

'Twas a sparkling day on Kiron III *
And Lore was living high;
He'd made ten thousand credits, see,
He didn't have to try.
Lore, he was too clever,
The colonists were dim;
Yes, Lore, he pulled the lever,
And his puppets danced for him.

The colonists all brought their queries
On farming or construction.
They paid him well to hear his theories
On preventing crop destruction.
In every answer Lore did sell
There always was 'Plan B';
If people from Lore's favour fell,
He'd wreck their plans with glee.

Lore wrapped his plots in scientific guise,
The farmers never guessed
That the android with the yellow eyes,
Was Kiron III's worst pest!
A ladies' man was Mr Lore,
The women found him witty;
The menfolk, they could take no more.
Soong thought all this a pity.

That his android loved the good life,
Caused Doctor Soong to wonder
How to cope when Lore caused strife?
Soong's experiments went under!
His idea had been a good one -
To create a robot man;
But he gave the thing emotion
And Soong's troubles they'd began!

Lore, he had rejected 'Dad',
No father figure now;
"I will not let my son go bad",
The doctor made his vow.
Doctor Soong discussed his troubles,
The technician's name was Karl;
"Well catch him at his own game",
The man said with a snarl.

If they devised a riddle,
To which they knew the key;
They'd catch Lore in the middle,
The colonists set free
From Lore's manipulations,
And money-making schemes;
But Karl had other reasons:
The end of all Soong's dreams...

Lore and Order
Illustration by Paul Beck, aka "Breeze".

For Karl, he was a Klingon spy,
Infiltrating Kiron III;
To steal the android he would try,
Technology for free!
His years of working for the Doc
Had helped him plan the feat:
To make the android's programs lock;
Karl's get-away was neat.

He walked in upon the android,
Who was busy making love;
The woman screamed, she looked annoyed,
Ran to the street above.
The android shook the bed-clothes free,
No fear he would allow;
"I know your plan's to challenge me.
Let's end it here and now!"

They paced each other 'round the floor,
Today would be the day;
If Karl could last ten minutes more,
A Klingon Bird of Prey
Would transport up the android, and
Leave orbit with its prize;
Then Lore began to crush his hand,
Karl could not believe his eyes!

Lore won by using all his strength,
Held the Klingon spy with ease.
Androids could go to any length -
"Your communicator, please..."
Imitating the Klingon's sound,
Lore admitted Karl's 'mistake',
Then smashed his skull into the ground,
One Klingon's life at stake.

And so Lore lived to lie again,
Men petitioned his creator;
Soong disassembled Lore and then
He manufactured Data.
"This new android won't love or hate;
Won't cause Lore's brand of terror.
His quest for knowledge will be great."
The Doc had learned his error.

By Ian McLean, 1991.

* otherwise known as Omicron Theta ("Datalore"). Planet first named Kiron III in David Gerrold's novelisation of "Encounter at Farpoint".


Anonymous said...

I shouldn't like this... but I really like this. :)


HIjol said...

I love your "Data Lore" tale!

Here is one for you:

I liked the Tale of Karl and Lore
A wonderful creation!
We do not hear so much, these days
Of Data's male relations

Lore had a skill for being bad
There is no doubt of that
But Entertainment ruled the roost
When e'er Lore came to bat

From Borg to Crystalline Entity
The List went on and on
Of his bad buds and clueless dupes
On them he put the Con

So, sure I miss the brave, smart crew
Of Star Ships "D" and "E"
But there will always be a place
For Naughty Lore, in me


Therin of Andor said...

Wow! thanks so much HIjol!