For those of you keeping score, my Jack Russell put on another Logie Award-winning performance last night during an extended walk, via the kebab/pide takeaway shops in High Street, Penrith.
We placed our order at the first shop (the one that has the really nice chunky lamb shish - big chunks of lamb in the Turkish bread) and, while it was being prepared, we wandered further down the road and happened to pass the other kebab shop (which does the mixed slices of chicken and beef kebabs on Lebanese bread). Now, Jack had already put on his demonstration of feigned cowardice, even though the first shop doesn't actually have an ultra violet mozzie zapper light for the insect pests. But several years ago, Jack learned to associate the smell of kebab meat with the noise of a mosquito getting fried in the metal grill of a mozzie zapper. The staff and customers were bewildered by the sight of this crazy dog fretting outside the shop for no obvious reason.
But his bravura performance was saved for the second shop. The owner was standing out on the street, and he immediately recognised Jack from previous visits. By the time were were almost at the shopfront, Jack was practically crawling along the asphalt footpath, and trembling all over. He was excited to smell the man agan - yum yum, meat! - but he was also anticipating the... there it goes: "ZAP!!!!"
Not so hilarious was our walk home. About halfway, we met a loose bulldog/pitbull cross - with a full set of testicles! (I guess that's better than a cross bulldog/pitbull?) He wasn't too aggressive, but Jack objected to the dog's nose going where it didn't belong, and Jack was atypically barky. Sometimes he doesn't know when to pull his head in.
We thought we'd lost the stray in someone's front yard, and managed to get quite a bit of distance between us. Suddenly, a car tooted us. "There's a dog coming, mate!" the guy warned. Sure enough, that squat, furry dynamo who was determined to know my dog intimately had switched to warp speed - and was sweeping towards us like the Tasmanian Devil from "The Bugs Bunny Show".
And THEN the heavens opened. With no umbrella, and carrying Jack to keep him out of reach of the bulldog/pitbull cross, who followed us almost all the way home, we got drenched.
Lovely. What was worse, the kebab wasn't even for me.