My name is Jack, and I am back,
To rid the park of the plover.
It's Jack Russell time, and I'm still in my prime;
I chase every bird and its mother!
Yes, those birds are back, they are on the attack,
Swooping the heads of kids wearing red,
Or anyone not under cover.
I find the exact spot where they want to lay eggs,
Rub myself in the scent - all over my legs,
And I find the exact spot where they sit and poo
So I roll in that till I smell like plovers, too...
Well, the plovers have gone, they've moved right along.
We won't even have to phone WIRES!
But a nearby school doesn't think it's too cool,
Their principal will ring: "I must ask you something:
Did you send us your birds?" she enquires.