Monday, August 28, 2006

Plover patrol

My name is Jack, and I am back,
To rid the park of the plover.
It's Jack Russell time, and I'm still in my prime;
I chase every bird and its mother!
Yes, those birds are back, they are on the attack,
Swooping the heads of kids wearing red,
Or anyone not under cover.

I find the exact spot where they want to lay eggs,
Rub myself in the scent - all over my legs,
And I find the exact spot where they sit and poo
So I roll in that till I smell like plovers, too...

Well, the plovers have gone, they've moved right along.
We won't even have to phone WIRES!
But a nearby school doesn't think it's too cool,
Their principal will ring: "I must ask you something:
Did you send us your birds?"
she enquires.


De said...

I've never understood the whole rolling in poo thing with dogs. Both of mine do it and then give me the evil eye when I insist on giving them a bath before they nap on the couch.

Therin of Andor said...

Yeah, I think it's supposed to make them smell exactly like their prey, so they can sneak up on it.

The worst time was when Jack met some geese on a farm. He went off alone and came back totally green: covered in goose poo, head to toe. He was going up to total strangers, essentially pleading with them to somehow remove the smell from him.

Luckily the farm's owner happened to have some dog shampoo on hand, even though she had no dog of her own.