A capital idea

There's something rather ironic about me calling this blog "Have Phaser, Will Travel" and the only time it goes dormant is when I'm travelling.

One reason is that I don't have a laptop (yet) and, when on vacation, the last thing I really want to do is race off to an Internet cafe, and do hilarious and/or witty blog entries on-the-spot, live from the scene. While the concept is exciting, I guess, I'm not so sure it's a good idea to announce to the world, "Hey, I'm on vacation, so's the housemate, the abode is unattended - and I even have the watchdog on holiday with me, not guarding the house, while I blog to you daily from this poky cafe!"


We are taking the
blankie, aren't we?"

A complete break from the Internet is not a bad idea, either. If I had a laptop, I just know I'd never get anything else - but a little blogging - done. I almost cherish time away from emails and web surfing so I can get some Star Trek novels read!

We departed on Saturday morning and were at our Downer (ACT), dog-friendly bed 'n' breakfast by the afternoon, having spent a brief time in beautiful Berrima on the way. We bought some pumpkin bread there, that will taste scrummy, and some sweets from the good ol' Lolly Swagman to keep us munching along the way.

On Friday night, before we left, I'd paid a few bills via the Internet. Then I realised during the car trip south - to my horror - that I'd forgotten to organise payment for some vintage Star Trek metal miniatures I'd won from a US seller on eBay earlier in the week. Thanks to the wonders of the Internet and public libraries, I effortlessly booked 30 mins Internet time at Dickson Public Library yesterday afternoon, just before closing. I even managed to check my emails online, change my PayPal password and send $$$$$ to my toy seller. Whew!

And no, despite the date and time on this entry, I didn't write it (or the next five entries) in the library, although i was tempted. I did it the old fashioned way - handwritten notes on a scrap of paper. Yay post-vacation "Post Options" hyperlinks!

Sunday's magic number: 91.0. Yeah, the French food and red wine did it, I think.

Party mix

Okay, so I bought a big bag of Kenman's Party Mix lollies (candy for the US readers) - and they're 99% fat free - but they are not the expected traditional varieties. No snakes, no bananas, no black cats, no strawberries-and-cream. A few jelly babies, sure, but the rest of them are quasi-fruit jellies in "party" shapes: little chocolate ice cream cones, cupcakes, drink bottles, shooting stars, life-sized lips, mobile phones(?) and decapitated clown heads. And you know what? Those clown heads taste funny. Boom, boom.



On Friday a parcel arrived from Amazon. About two months ago, I finally tracked down a cute little Christmas ditty that Baz & Pilko (Barry Ion and Tony Pilkington) used to play in the late 80s on Sydney radio station 2UW's breakfast show, now the home of MIX 106.5 FM. Every Christmas, little comedy guest voice, "Peter Plus", used to introduce a song, supposedly sung by his kid sister, "Personality". (Personality Plus, get it?)

The song concerned someone, strongly suspected of being Santa Claus, who was stuck in the chimney on Christmas Eve, and met his demise up there, and was still stuck a day, then a week, then a month, then a year later. "Plussy" (voice of Barry Ion, IIRC) never gave a lot of notice that the song was about to be played, so taping it off-air was impossible. At the time, and over several years, I tried to find out the details of the song, since I suspected it was a commercial track from the USA. Rummaging through the Comedy Section of many record shops didn't bear fruit. A friend, who knew one of the 2UW on-air personalities, music guru Gary Jaegar, also drew a blank. Gary had told us the song was probably someone's old demo track and therefore not available on record. So I stopped looking.

Well, thanks to the wonders of Google and the Internet, typing in Santa "stuck up in the chimney" brought me, not only the full song lyrics to "The Chimney Song", as sung by one Lorna List, but also a link to Amazon and the CD version, on which the song is available as Track #2. And so "Twisted Christmas" (1987), by the Bob Rivers Comedy Corp, arrived at my place - after a short delay while Amazon restocked (in time for Christmas, I presume) - but missing my Midwinter Christmas party by a full two weeks. Sigh.

Gosh! The coveted lyrics are now available as a ringtone, and even as a little window for a web page! Isn't technology marvellous?

It was Amazon's second recording miracle in recent months. My dog, Jack, accidentally broke a friend's precious 78 RPM record of Spike Jones and His City Slickers singing the novelty song, "Wild Bill Hiccup" (1949). This was a song from Maria's childhood - or, more likely, her mother's childhood - which the family played on her grandmother's antique, hand-cranked record player - and Jack destroyed the 78 in one, ah, record leap onto a chair (after the stack had been moved during some renovations to their house). Good ol' Amazon. Look what I found with a little diligent searching. Now, I'm sure my friend won't need to hear "Wild Bill Hiccup" on CD all that often, but at least I know that she can, if she so desires, and without thinking black thoughts about Jack-be-nimble and his mountain goat-like feats.