Holy extra word power, Batman!: novels and novelizations

Extending my post of mass market paperbacks (MMPBs) based on DC and Marvel superheroes (2000-2008), here are all the Batman-related novels and novelizations:

"Batman vs. Three Villains of Doom" by Winston Lyon (Signet, Apr 1966)

"Batman vs. The Fearsome Foursome", novelization of "Batman" movie, by Winston Lyon (Signet, Aug 1966)

"Batman and Robin in The Cheetah Caper" (Big Little Book) by George S Elrick (Whitman, 1969)

"Justice League of America" (Super Powers Which Way series) by Robert Loren Fleming (Pocket/Archway, 1984; Transworld/Carousel, 1985)

"Batman: The Doomsday Prophecy" (Super Powers Which Way series) by Richard Wenk (Pocket/Archway, Aug 1986)

"Batman" movie novelization by Craig Shaw Gardner (Warner, Jun 1989)

"The Further Adventures of Batman" edited by Martin H Greenberg (Bantam, Jul 1989)

"The Further Adventures of the Joker" edited by Martin H Greenberg (Bantam, Feb 1990)

"The Batman Murders" by Craig Shaw Gardner (Warner, Oct 1990)

"Batman: To Stalk a Specter" by Simon Hawkes (Warner, Feb 1991)

"Batman: Captured by the Engines" by Joe R Lonsdale (Warner, Jul 1991)

"Batman Returns" movie novelization by Craig Shaw Gardner (Warner, Jul 1992)

"Batman Returns" junior movie novelization by Andrew Helfer (Little, Brown and Company, 1992)

"Batman in The Black Egg of Atlantis" junior novel by Neal Barrett Jr (Little, Brown and Company/Penguin Fantail, 1992)

"Batman in The Six Deadly Demons" junior novel by John Albano (Little, Brown and Company/Penguin Fantail, 1992)

"Batman in Terror on the High Skies" junior novel by Joe R Lonsdale (Little, Brown and Company, 1992/Penguin Fantail, 1993)

"The Further Adventures of Batman 2: featuring the Penguin" edited by Martin H Greenberg (Bantam Spectra, Jul 1992)

"Catwoman: Tiger Hunt" by Lynn Abbey & Robert Asprin (Warner, Sep 92)

"The Further Adventures of Batman 3: featuring Catwoman" edited by Martin H Greenberg (Bantam Spectra, Mar 1993)

"Batman: The Animated Series: Shadows of the Past" novelization by Geary Gravel (Bantam, Nov 1993)

"Batman: Mask of the Phantasm" animated movie novelization by Geary Gravel (Bantam, Jan 1994)

"Batman: Mask of the Phantasm" junior animated movie novelization by Andrew Helfer (Bantam Skylark, Jan 1994)

"Batman: The Animated Series: Dual to the Death" novelization by Geary Gravel (Bantam, Feb 1994)

"Batman: The Animated Series: The Dragon and the Bat" novelization by Geary Gravel (Bantam, Jun 1994)

"Batman: Knightfall" comics novelization by Dennis O'Neil (Bantam Spectra, Aug 1994)

"Batman: Knightfall & Beyond" junior comics novelization by Alan Grant (Bantam Skylark, Aug 1994)

"Batman Forever" movie novelization by Peter David (Warner, Jun 1995)

"Batman Forever" junior movie novelization by Alan Grant (Little, Brown and Company, 1995)

"Batman: The Ultimate Evil" by Andrew Vachss (Warner/Aspect, Nov 1995)

"Batman & Robin" movie novelization by Michael Jan Friedman (Warner/Aspect, Jun 1997)

"Batman & Robin" junior movie novelization by Alan Grant (Little, Brown and Company, 1997)

"Robin: Facing the Enemy" by Alan Grant (Little, Brown and Company, 1997)
- junior novel tie-in to "Batman & Robin" movie

"Batgirl: To Dare the Darkness" by Doug Moench (Little, Brown and Company, 1997)
- junior novel tie-in to "Batman & Robin" movie

"Legends of the Batman" edited by Martin H Greenberg (MJF, 1997)
- previous volumes, "Tales of the Batman" and "Adventures of the Batman" were hardcover reprint collections from "Further Adventures of..." MMPBs

"Batman & Mr. Freeze: Subzero" junior animated movie novelization by James Raven (Little, Brown and Company, 1997)

"Kingdom Come" (Elseworlds series) comic novelization by Elliot S Maggin (Warner/Aspect, Mar 1998)
- Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman and others

"Batman: No Man's Land" comic novelization by Greg Rucka (Pocket, Jan 2000)

"Batman: No Man's Land" junior comic novelization by Alan Grant (Pocket/Minstrel, Jan 2000)

"Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker" junior animated movie novelization by Michael Teitelbaum (Scholastic, Nov 2000)

"Batman: The Stone King" (Justice League of America series) by Alan Grant (Pocket, Mar 2002)

"Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman" junior animated movie novelization by Louise Simonson (Bantam, Oct 2003)

"Batman: Rise of Sin Tzu" game novelization by Devin Kalile Grayson & Flint Dille (Warner/Aspect, Nov 2003)

"The Forensic Files of Batman, the World's Greatest Detective" by Doug Moench (ibooks, Jun 2004)

"Catwoman" movie novelization by Elizabeth Hand (Ballantine/Del Rey, Jun 2004)

"Catwoman: The Junior Novel" movie novelization by Jasmine Jones (HarperEntertainment, 2004)

"JLA: The Exterminators" (Justice League of America series) by Christopher Golden (Pocket, Jul 2004)
- Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, The Flash, Green Lantern

"Crisis on Infinite Earths" comic novelization by Marv Wolfman (ibooks, Apr 2005)

"Batman Begins" movie novelization by Dennis O'Neil (Ballantine/Del Rey, 2005)

"Batman Begins: The Junior Novel" movie novelization by Peter Lerangis (Scholastic, Jun 2005)

"DC Universe: Inheritance" by Devin Grayson (Warner, Jun 2006)
- Batman, Green Arrow, Aquaman, Nightwing, Arsenal, Tempest

"Infinite Crisis" comic novelization by Greg Cox (Ace, Berkley/Penguin, Oct 2006)

"DC Universe: Helltown" by Dennis O'Neil (Warner, Nov 2006)
- The Question, Lady Shiva, Richard Dragon, Batman

"Batman: Dead White" by John Shirley (Ballantine/Del Rey, 2006)

"Batman: Inferno" by Alex Irvine (Ballantine/Del Rey, 2006)

"Batman: Fear Itself" by Michael Reaves (Ballantine/Del Rey, 2007)

"52" comic novelization by Greg Cox (Ace, Berkley/Penguin, Jul 2007)
- focus on Booster Gold, Supernova, The Question, Batwoman

"Batman: Gotham Knight" animated movie novelization by Louise Simonson (Ace, Berkley/Penguin, Jun 2008)

"The Dark Knight" movie novelization by Dennis O'Neil (Berkley Boulevard/Penguin, Jul 2008)
- sequel to "Batman Begins"

"The Dark Knight: The Junior Novel" movie novelization by Stacia Deutsch & Rhody Cohon (HarperCollins, 2008).

"Enemies & Allies" by Kevin J Anderson (HarperCollins, 2009)
- Batman, Superman

"Countdown" comic novelization by Greg Cox (Ace, Berkley/Penguin, Jul 2009)
- focus on Jimmy Olsen, Mary Marvel, Troia/Wonder Girl, Robin II, Catwoman

"The Dark Knight Legend: The Junior Novel" by Stacia Deutsch (HarperFestival, June 2012)
- young adult movie novelization of "The Dark Knight Rises"

"The Dark Knight Rises" movie novelization by Greg Cox (Titan, Jul 2012)
- sequel to "The Dark Knight"

"Arkham Night: The Riddler's Gambit" video game prequel novel by Alex Irvine (Titan, Jun 2015)

"Arkham Night" video game novelization by Marv Wolfman (Titan, Jul 2015)

"Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice: Cross Fire" young adult companion novel by Michael Kogge (Scholastic, 2016)

"The Lego Batman Movie: Junior Novel" movie novelization by Jeanette Lane (Scholastic, 2017)

"Batman: Nightwalker" by Marie Lu (Penguin Random House, 2018)

"Catwoman: Soulstealer" by Sarah J Maas (Penguin Random House, 2018)

"Batman: The Killing Joke, A Batman Novel" by Christa Faust and Gary Phillips (Titan, Sept 2018)
- comic novelization

"Harley Quinn: Mad Love, A Batman Novel" by Paul Dini and Pat Cadigan (Titan, Nov 2018)
- comic novelization

"Batman: The Court of Owls, A Batman Novel" by Greg Cox (Titan, Feb 2019)
- comic novelization

"Batman: Resurrection" by John Jackson Miller (Penguin Random House, 2024)
- novel sequel to the 1989 movie novelization

"Batgirl: Possession" by Jade Adia (Penguin Random House, 2024)

Captain's log: Supplemental (Updated: 14th February, 2025)

Identity: Sharing Our Stories rap

The NSW DET rap, Identity: Sharing Our Stories for Stages 3 and 4 is underway, the second such rap to be presented in a blog format (hosted by the School Libraries and Information Literacy Unit via Edublogs) rather than the traditional email and listserv arrangement.

I would like to urge teachers and teacher-librarians to drop by the rap and have a look at what I believe is going to be a great learning experience - for students, teachers, teacher librarians, AEOs (Aboriginal Education Officers) and community members. A range of excellent resources is available, including: programming and planning, proformas, music, and online factual texts with Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander People sharing their personal stories about what has formed their identities and has made them strong. Several of the participating schools have already posted their introductory, jointly-constructed, blog entries (see the section called "Intro").

Many teachers complain they find it difficult to make sure they properly address Aboriginal perspectives in their programs, and to find relevant resources. The rap is also a great way to develop a familiarity with blogging as an educational tool. How I wish I had my interactive whiteboard already; at my school we are making do with a regular computer, and the students are highly motivated to rap together, and to read the posts from other schools.

Last term's completed Wilfrid Gordon McDonald Partridge book rap, also in blog format, is still available for comparison purposes. The "Teacher" section contains many "Frequently Asked Questions" about blogging. Also worth a look!

Lack of training?

I was in two minds as to how to fill in my day today. My comics didn't come in last Thursday and weren't due in the country until yesterday. As there were supposed to be two Star Trek titles, plus a "Starlog", I had to work out if I wanted to spend $10 and an hour into the city, and another hour coming back, or to use up some of my movie "Hot Cash"/"Super Saver" coupons on some recent releases.

After a quick call to Kings Comics - to establish there were no "alternative cover" options to be resolved - I decided to see "Iron Man" at Penrith Plaza. Kings made sure my comics had the right covers and were safely in my standing orders box. On my way there, I was passed by several luxury coaches along the road to the station... and realised that buses had replaced trains into Parramatta, which would have added about 20-30 minutes to the trip - each way!

I was very glad I had already chosen "Iron Man", and was very pleased with it. "Iron Man" isn't a particular comics favourite but I did have a familiarity with the old animated cartoon of my youth, and the old yellow and red Mego action figure. As the reviews have said, the film was very well cast and featured some great action sequences. Quite a good job presenting a famous, classic comic book character on the big screen for modern audiences. Ah yes, stay till the end of the closing credits!

Sunday's magic number: 94.0 - again. Sigh. (Spent too many Pedlar's Pennies on Thursday.)

Hampering housework

Today I'm trying to do my annual guilt trip. it's almost time to start finding hiding places for lots of "stuff", that has accumulated over recent months, so the house will look good for Midwinter Christmas. I can't believe we're nearly there again!

I keep looking over my shoulder, trying to build up the energy required to do the job properly, and not just hide everything in cupboards and behind furniture. And I keep on surfing the 'Net.

Over on the Aussie Bloggers' BBS they are chatting about the concept of the modern day Christmas hamper, which one pays off in advance so as to have an overabundance of Christmas fare in December - several companies bungled their deliveries last year - and it was asked if companies like Chrisco gave value for money. It got me thinking...

When we were kids in the late 60s and early 70s, a highlight of the pre-Christmas period was the arrival (and ritual unpacking) of my mother's "Walton's Christmas Hamper". She used to pay it off in small advance instalments over the whole year, and the stuff that was in it was readily consumed by us over Christmas and January. It contained lots of stuff we bought regularly, anyway, but there was stuff we only ever had as annual treats because they were in the Christmas hamper, such as glacé fruit, Kool Pops, chocolate syrup for ice cream, tinned plum pudding, bonbons, etc. In the 60s and 70s, the Walton's hamper was very good value, but with the advent of supermarkets - and "specials" - it has become possible, and more economical, to grab the stuff you really needed throughout the year at lower prices.

We have a funny family anecdote concerning the matching plastic bottles of BBQ sauce and chocolate syrup! One year we went on a picnic and my Mum had made the most delicious stack of home-cooked roast beef sandwiches for us to take with us. Of course, when we arrived at the picnic grounds we realised that she'd used the chocolate syrup (brown bottle) instead of the BBQ sauce (dark red bottle). We still laugh about that error at family gatherings.

Would you trade Pedlars’ Pennies with this man?

Today was my school’s annual Pedlars’ Parade and Fair. Yours truly was on hand to swap Australian dollars for Pedlars’ Pennies, the only legal tender on the day! Happy Education Week!





(Oh, and a happy birthday to my brother, Keith! See, I even dressed up to celebrate it!)

Indiana Jones and the Recliner Seats of Narcolepsy

I think it's from years of 'Net surfing, but I commonly fall asleep in movies - microsleeps which can turn into extended snorefests, if I'm not careful, depending on the film - so it was with more than a little self-doubt in my ability to stay alert in a cushy, expensive Gold Class cinema experience, that I went with friends to see "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" tonight.

I survived! I know there were at least two times when I suddenly realised I'd missed a bit of the narrative after an overly long blink, but the film is worth seeing a second time, so that's not really a problem. It's come under some heavy criticisms in the press, too, but I did enjoy the movie very much. It was more involving than many sequences in "... The Last Crusade" (tank chases - ugh!) and it was heaps better than "... The Temple of Goo, er, Doom". (Put me off mangulated monkey brains for several months.)

"Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" was probably as entertaining as the film which started it all: "Raiders of the Lost Ark". That was one of those films from my early days of Star Trek fandom and impromptu movie parties - coinciding with me helping my Dad out in his bread shop So Very Early on Saturday mornings before heading off to ASTREX meetings, followed by dinner and a movie - bit "Raiders" goes down in history as the late night feature film that is impossible to sleep through, no matter how early one got up to bake fruit buns... just as long as one sat next to a friend named Ruth who thumps both fist onto one's forearm whenever danger stalks our hero. (And, of course, in "Raiders" that happened Very Often.) But I digress. Back to "... the Crystal Skull".

Even though I saw this new film Ruthlessly, there were sufficient action and crystal skull goodness - and a well-timed serving of baked lemon and lime cheesecake served to me in the dark by a Gold Class waiter - to keep me alert. I was very pleased to see the Marion/Indy story arc come full circle - I think I recall reading once that they had tried, but failed, to get Karen Allen into the second film.

They've certainly set the scene for someone younger than Harrison Ford to take over the film franchise one day, should they need more films to inspire more theme park rides some day. (I'm sure several scenes from this one were only included so they could inspire an Indy theme park ride.) The amusing opening sequences in Area 51 were worth the price of admission alone, but then the Indy films have always specialised in having great opening sequences!

This film experience was, um, "gold class" (at least for me), even if the film wasn't as perfect as many diehard Ingy fans were hoping for these past nineteen years. Sure, there were probably lots of CGI scenes filmed on totally blue chromakey "sets", but I only really notice that stuff when people point it out, or I see lots of blue background in "making of" scenes. They were only noticeable a few times - well, to me anyway.

A great film - check it out for yourself before all the spoilers are out in the headlines!

A licence to stop sneezing

When I was about eighteen years old, I had about six driving lessons - and decided that driving a motor vehicle reminded me of every sport I've ever tried (and detested): all that hand/eye coordination and outwitting your opponent... Ick!

So the world is definitely a safer place without me behind the wheel.

Travelling by public transport has never been much of a nuisance, and the money I save not running a car can be diverted to buying more books, action figures and comics - or booking the occasional taxi.

However, it's whenever I get a bad case of the sniffles - like today - that I run into trouble! In these dark of gloomy days of suspect-your-neighbour-of-everything, it's nigh impossible to buy strong cold and flu medication from a pharmacy without a driver's license, or at least equivalent proof of identity. My passport expired years ago - sigh - but who carries their passport to work and back every day unless you're a drug runner? - and it doesn't matter how choked up with mucous I happen to be, few chemists are willing to sell this potential "ice" manufacturer with pseudoephedrine!

I hear that some drug lords' minions spent their days going from pharmacy to pharmacy buying up cold and flu medication like it's going out of season, the crushing up the tablets to use as a major ingredient in ice.

Gosh, whenever I want ice, I just use plain tap water in a little plastic tray and stick it in the freezer! ;)

Ah choo!

(I did eventually get some cold and flu tablets, but with the hoops I had to jump through to get them, it almost would have been easier for me to go and do the computer simulator exercises, have a few driving lessons and pass my licence test first!)

Bantam Books, Star Trek and nostalgia

As a new Star Trek fan in 1980 - discovering fandom and the Trek merchandising behemoth - via "Star Trek: The Motion Picture", the most frustrating thing about the Bantam Star trek original novels was that there was no definitive list! The only way to know about titles you were missing was to read the little "Have you also read ______________?" messages inside.

I remember the day I celebrated in a poky little suburban newsagency (a drugstore without drugs for my US readers) after finding "World Without End", which I hadn't even heard of! How frustrating and exciting it was to know that the treasure hunt must continue: each new find would carry another title inside, for which I now needed to go looking.



Every time I thought I'd completed my set, there was more out there! The Star Trek Welcommittee had no list available, so they mentioned "Books in Print". I went off to the NSW State Library and checked every volume from the 60s through to 1982, finally satisfying myself I had them all. The frustration for Australian collectors was because we not only had the Bantam printings (of original ST and the James Blish adaptations of TOS), but also the Corgi UK versions! This made keeping one's collection consistent almost impossible. If I saw a new title in Corgi (which also did Alan Dean Foster's TAS adaptations for the UK), did I grab it and replace it later with a Bantam, or did I just wait patiently"?

"Devil World" was exciting: my first "new" ST novel from a Dymocks' "New Release" shelf, IIRC! Then came "Perry's Planet", which I'd actually seen listed in a "Locus" a few months before. "The Galactic Whirlpool" was so eagerly awaited: "Starlog" had carried preview chapters rather like the Titan ST mag does today! (Amazing to know some content in advance!) Then came "Death's Angel" - I was very disappointed by it, only to discover, at ST club meetings, that a few fans were calling it the best novel they'd ever read.

And "Locus" was promising that finally, the oft-delayed "The Entropy Effect" (the first from the new license holder, Pocket Books) was coming from an award-winning science fiction author, Vonda McIntyre. The delay was because Pocket had to wait for all of Bantam's contracted novels to come out and Sky's "Death's Angel" had been that last one. I'd never heard of McIntyre, but the local SF community even seemed to be interested.



With so much new product coming these days, I'm unlikely to be able to do more than skim the Bantams every so often. Although they are steeped in nostalgia, they don't hold a candle to most of what's coming out now.

Sunday's magic number: 93.5 - yay! I was beginning to worry the scales were broken.

A thousand suns for IDW

I picked up IDW Publishing's latest comic, "Assignment: Earth" #1 by John Byrne, last night and it looks great. Read it on the train home. Some fun 60s stuff; at times "Brighter Than a Thousand Suns" felt like it had been made in the 60s, although I'm so glad the paper quality was better! I assume Teri Garr had to sign off on her likeness? (I still remember her "Starlog" interview; possibly the only ST guest who doesn't have fond memories of her association with Star Trek and its fans - not that ST actors have to have fond memories, but her interview was quite... angry and bizarre when the topic turned to ST, IIRC).

Contracts of the 80s and 90s (and beyond) have very different wording to those of the 60s. Recently it was mentioned here that the original cover of the forthcoming Kevin Ryan "Errand of Fury" novel, from Pocket Books, was to have featured the TOS Organians, but that there was no permission for one of the deceased actors so the cover would be changing.

DC Comics had to draw a bald Garth of Izar, a ST III Captain Styles with no mustache, and a fat guy who vaguely-resembled Harry Mudd's physique for various issues. (Due mainly to existing likeness permissions not being on record.) When DC wanted to bring back Saavik in Series II, she had to resemble Robin Curtis, not Kirstie Alley, even though Kirstie's Saavik was more popular. And so on.

Sometimes the families of deceased ST guests might be happy to sign off. Others might insist on a royalty. Others might want approval of finished sketches, or they might refuse outright. It may vary from actor to actor, too, depending on their (and their agents') clout when contracts were signed. Welcome to Hollywood: a land of red tape.

Beyond Number 96

Since yesterday's exclusive announcement of more classic "Number 96" on DVD, I've felt a need to upgrade the last section of my old, annotated episode guide - the one with details of all "Number 96"-connected shows since the parent series went off the air. I Google this stuff every few years and it's amazing how little snippets turn up every now and then.

For example, when I did my initial research, I would have stopped my skimming of bound volumes of old TV Times and TV Week issues when I hit the end of 1977, and so I had no notes on the bizarre-sounding second pilot for a variety series that would have featured Reg and Edie MacDonald! Also, last time I checked, there was no online information whatsoever on "Eurotrash" (in which yours truly appeared as the dubiously-described as the "only member of the Abigail and Number 96 Fan Club!). Recently, I found an official site that listed all the segment titles and subjects of that tongue-in-cheek documentary series.

Anyway, here's the (UPDATED 2011) list:

SPECIAL: Number 96 Auction. (20/8/1977)
With Joe "The Gadget Man" Sandow as the auctioneer. A live cross to the grounds of Channel 10, Sydney. 90 minutes; aired at 12 noon. 0-10 Network.

UNAIRED PILOT: Oh Mummy, Oh Daddy. (Taped 2/1978)
Second unsuccessful attempt to spin off the characters of Reg and Edie MacDonald (Mike Dorsey and Wendy Blacklock), this time in a potential music/variety series with dream sequences (eg. Superman and Ginger Meggs characters in the pilot). Seven Network.

NUMBER 96 (US Version). (Commenced USA 10/12/1980; aired in Australia 1986)

GOLDEN YEARS OF TELEVISION: A Salute to Australian Soaps. (14/8/1986)
Presented by David Lyle and Ginger de Winter (aka Virginia Bell). Featured the infamous "bomb aftermath" episode (#840) and assorted footage. Nine Network.

TONIGHT LIVE WITH STEVE VIZARD. (20/7/1993)
Hosted by Steve Vizard. Featured flashback footage and live interviews with Elaine Lee, Jeff Kevin and Number 96 historian, Ian McLean. Comedian Vince Sorrenti conducted a tour of Moncur Flats, at 83 Moncur Street, Woollahra, the actual location of the Number 96 building seen in the show's credits. Seven Network.

SPECIAL: Number 96: They Said It Wouldn't Last. (21/11/1994)
With new commentary from Abigail. Featured most of the special made to celebrate the show's 1000th episode, revamped and concluded with the "curtain call" from the final episode. Network Ten.

DARREN GRAY DOWN UNDER: Number 96. (1995)
Hosted by Darren Gray. Featured interviews with Andrew Mercado and Number 96 historian, Ian McLean. CTV1 (Sydney) and the Wire Network (UK).

SALE OF THE CENTURY: Battle of the TV Classics. (19/6/1995)
Hosted by Glenn Ridge. Featured Johnny Lockwood, Elaine Lee, Jeff Kevin and Candy Raymond representing Number 96 and competing against stars from The Sullivans, Prisoner and The Young Doctors. Candy Raymond made it through to the finals. Nine Network.

WHERE ARE THEY NOW. (1997)
Presented by Peter Luck. Weekly episodes, four of which focused on Number 96 stories. One episode featured James Elliott and Elisabeth Kirkby. Another reunited John Orcsik with Joe Hasham, who reenacted their kiss from the Number 96 feature film. Johnny Lockwood was interviewed in an episode dedicated to the deaths of beloved fictional Australians (8/8/97). A "Soap Opera Weddings" special featured Jeff Kevin and Pamela Garrick. Seven Network.

EUROTRASH: Abigail. (SEASON 5, #6, UK 1997; Australian airdate unknown)
Hosted by Jean-Paul Gaultier, narrated by Kate Robbins. Featured flashback footage of Number 96, Chances and Alvin Purple and interviews with Abigail, journalist Robin Oliver and Number 96 historian, Ian McLean. Foxtel/Austar's The Comedy Channel.

TAMARA TONITE. (20/10/1999 - 3/11/1999)
Presented by Brisbane-based drag queen, Tamara Tonite (aka Roderick Paterson). Weekly episodes, three of which were focused on Number 96. Interviews with Sheila Kennelly (#137), Elaine Lee (#138) and Number 96 historian, Ian McLean (#139). Channel Briz31.

TELEVISION'S GREATEST HITS: The Best of Number 96. (13/3/2000 - 30/3/2000)
Presented by Andrew Mercado over three weeks. 24 episodes, hand selected by Andrew Mercado and Ian McLean. Episodes were: #2, 33, 450, 604, 613, 630/631, 649, 669, 679, 680, 689, 838, 839, 840/841, 844, 1005, 1006, 1136, 1160, 1164, and 1217/1218. Foxtel/Austar's TV1.

THE BEST OF AUSSIE DRAMAS: Part I. (7/11/2002)
Presented by Kate Ritchie of Home and Away. Contained numerous clips of Number 96, with sound byte comments from John Orcsik, Elaine Lee, Jeff Kevin, Lorrae Desmond, Vince Sorrenti and Number 96 historian, Ian McLean. Part II aired a week later, and a two-part focus on Aussie Cop Shows followed over the next fortnight, with additional sound byte comments from Paula Duncan, John Orcsik and Lorrae Desmond. Seven Network.

SPECIAL: Ten: Seriously 40. (21/8/2005)
Presented by Bert Newton and Rove McManus. Clip show celebrating four decades of the former 0-10 Network. Network Ten.

SPECIAL: 50 Years, 50 Shows. (25/9/2005)
Presented by Eddie McGuire. Number 96 rated #9 out of 50 Australian television shows. Nine Network.

DVD: Number 96: 2 Disc Collectors Edition. (10/7/2006)
Includes: a brand new 16:9 transfer of Number 96: The Movie (1974), uncut and uncensored, with newly recorded audio commentary (2006) with Elaine Lee, creator/screenwriter David Sale, and TV historian Andrew Mercado; original draft screenplay of the movie on DVD-ROM; And They Said It Wouldn't Last TV documentary special (1976, plus 1977 update); Abigail's introduction to the special's repeat TV screening (1994); an all new featurette, THE FINAL YEARS (2006), covering the last 218 episodes (and new interviews with Elaine Lee, Sheila Kennelly, Wendy Blacklock, Deborah Gray and David Sale); plus rare footage of the "Spirit of 96" train journey, as the TV cast attended the Logies in Melbourne (1975). Umbrella DVD Australia . (Note that cover art of the first pressings of this product mentioned a stills gallery, but this was unable to be included as planned.)

REPEAT OF SPECIAL: 50 Years, 50 Shows. (11/9/2006)
Newly presented by Mike Munro, celebrating Australian television's 50th anniversary. Nine Network.

WHERE ARE THEY NOW. (8/7/2007)
Presented by Melissa Doyle and David Koche. Featured Jeff Kevin, Sheila Kennelly, Elaine Lee, James Elliott, Elisabeth Kirkby, Frances Hargreaves, Chantal Contouri, Joe Hasham and Chard Hayward. Seven Network.

DVD: Number 96: The Pantyhose Strangler. (30/8/2008)
Includes: 32 consecutive episodes #649-680; stills gallery; newly recorded audio commentary (2008) with Chantal Contouri and TV historian Andrew Mercado; 2006 footage of the Network Ten News announcement of the earlier DVD release. Umbrella DVD Australia.

DVD: Number 96: Aftermath of Murder. (11/3/2010)
Includes: 32 consecutive episodes #681-712; newly recorded audio commentaries (2009) with Carol Raye, Elisabeth Kirkby and TV historian Andrew Mercado; "The Australian Way: A Salute to Aussie Sex Appeal" TV special (1982, incorrectly identified as 1978); original 1976 "Adults Only" TV promo for premiere of "And They Said It Wouldn't Last" documentary special; 1975 uncut Christmas messages from cast members; and 2008 footage of the Network Ten News announcement of the previous DVD release, including a reunion between Chantal Contouri and Pamela Garrick. Umbrella DVD Australia.

DVD: Number 96: 40th Anniversary set. (Forthcoming 2012)
Includes: sixteen early b/w episodes (#1-10, #13, #31, #33-35 and #450) and sixteen consecutive colour episodes, #832-847, covering the Mad Bomber storyline. Umbrella DVD Australia.

Thanks to Luke of Brisbane for a few crucial dates listed above.

On a totally unrelated topic...
Sunday's magic number: 94.0. Absolutely no change - again. (Should I admit now to Thursday night's two donuts. And Friday's four? Shhhh! Maybe not.)

How wonderful: it's Sunday. The day I declare my progress to the world, and it's sandwiched between Number 96 news that people will be Googling for months! Let's hope the numbers are lower by the time the new DVD set hits.

Exclusive DVD news! Beware The Pantyhose Strangler!

THE RETURN OF 'NUMBER 96'

They tried to stop me! They even sent Tracey Wilson after me! But I'll say it anyway...:

Australia's cult TV soap classic of the 70s is back: coming to a boxed DVD set near you... in September 2008.

(Okay, I'm joking about them trying to stop me: I just received the official go-ahead from Andrew Mercado to announce, exclusively, that a deal has at last been cut to bring the saga of the complete Pantyhose Murders storyline of "Number 96" to DVD.)

The DVD set will comprise 32 episodes on four discs - starts with Episode #649 (originally aired 4/11/1974) and finishes with #680 (original airdate 27/01/1975). There will also be a stills gallery (to which I have contributed), a new commentary and even the Network Ten News report (10/07/06) of the first "Number 96" DVD release. Cue the cheering!

In 2006, Umbrella Entertainment released a great salute to "Number 96", a two-disc collectors' edition of Number 96: The Movie and "And They Said it Wouldn't Last" (the documentary celebrating the first 1000 episodes of the TV series, including missing archive footage of the cast at Luna Park), and "The Final Years", a new featurette made for the DVD.

But you wanted more! So here it is!

While it would be great to start commercial releases of the TV episodes of "Number 96" from the very beginning, the sad fact is that many early black-and-white episodes no longer exist. The first few episodes were well-preserved but there's one eighteen-month-long chunk of TV history that crumbled to dust in the early 80s. Sadly, that missing footage includes the infamous, highly-controversial Black Mass. Then there's a lone episode (#450) and another long run of missing stuff.

It was also thought that a boxed DVD set could start from #585, the first colour episode, but that's rather tame compared to "Number 96" at - arguably - its creative and comical peak: the Pantyhose Murders! We commence our DVD tour after it is realised that the body of a blonde woman - found strangled with pantyhose in Chestnut Lane, Paddington - was not, as everyone feared, Marilyn MacDonald. The storyline weaves its way through the shocking deaths, and near-deaths, of several long-time residents of 96 Lindsay Street, thus putting most of the other residents under suspicion, including two mysterious young beaus, Michael Bartlett (Peter Flett) and Matt Barrington (John Paramor). Not to mention the nasty Peter Wilson (Dennis Miller), the cruel, estranged husband of Nurse Tracey Wilson (Chantal Contouri)!

In September, you'll be reacquainted with ditzy Lorelei Wilkinson (Josephine Knur), the equally ditzy Marilyn McDonald (Frances Hargreaves), and the wonderfully whiny Patti Feather (Pamela Garrick), new wife of Arnold (Jeff Kevin). Interspersed with the action on the killing fields is the sad (temporary?) departures of the beloved Goldolfuses, the arrival of a new deli owner, Freda Fuller (Sheila Bradley), and some wonderful Aussie comedy relief, as only vintage "Number 96" could showcase: wacky Les Whittaker's strangler-capture devices; wacky Mummy MacDonald's false boobies as she struggles to tend bar downstairs at Norma's; and Dorrie Evans' equally-wacky turn as a brunette (in order to avoid being the next blonde victim of the Strangler, of course)!

*If you think you recognise the rather sinister woman strangling me in the above picture, yes, that's Tracey Wilson herself. Ms Contouri has recorded a brand new commentary with Andrew for the DVD set!

Roll on September! At least you can't say, "Why wasn't I told?"

First contact?

I just heard that this instrumental, "Rain" by Exposure, was originally commissioned for the soundtrack of "Star Trek: First Contact", but didn't end up being used. Maybe it was supposed to play over the scenes that had "Magic Carpet Ride" or "Ooby Dooby" instead?

It's pretty.

Ah, and a version with lyrics:

Mum's day

I rang my Mum in Perth today. The flowers I sent arrived safely and she was thrilled.

When she first moved to Perth, I often picked out potted plants for my Mum from an Interflora catalogue - and she always ended up getting so much more than advertised, such was the lower costs of flowers in sunny Perth. Select a little flowering pot plant, receive several huge ones. Select a small green ferny thing, receive a small rainforest. And so on.

I don't always send flowers for birthdays and other special days, but if I want to get a parcel of goodies to her, I've found that an "overnight" postal satchel works well, but suburban Perth actually takes 48 hours, not 24. I did have a few interesting little items I'd found over recent months, but I couldn't get away from work early enough last week to guarantee delivery in time for Mother's Day. So flowers it had to be.

These days, the Internet (and the online White Pages phone directory) makes flower deliveries so much easier. I had to laugh, though. The florist I've come to use in Perth doesn't record orders on a computer; I assumed they'd have my details on file since the last time, but they do it the old fashioned way. A pad and pen. How quaint.

No matter. I tried cut flowers this time and my mother received her (apparently very generous) "bright colours" arrangement of cut flowers on Friday morning, and has thus enjoyed Mother's Day all weekend - and no doubt will for most of the coming week.

Sunday's magic number: 94.0. Absolutely no change since last week. I have mastered the art of keeping my mass stable? I've been fairly careful this week; just not careful enough to get the numbers down again.

Movie letdowns

Lee, at Quit Your Day Job, asked about our "Top five movie let downs" of all time.

Mmmmm. My first big theatrical disappointment as a teen was definitely "Logan's Run". It got rave reviews on TV (including Jeanne Little on "The Mike Walsh Show", so maybe that was my warning!), but I came out wondering how I'd managed to waste my hard-earned pocketmoney on that!

This would be followed by "Superman III", "Superman IV: The Quest for Peace", "Star Trek V: The Final Frontier", the three "Star Wars" prequels, and Mike Meyers in "The Cat in the Hat". And I'll add "Star Trek Nemesis", but my main disappointment in that was the fact that the cinema was almost empty... on opening night!

That's more than five. I'm sure there are others, but the above-mentioned films I thought might be excellent, despite the pre-release jittery rumours.

Audio silence?

Simon & Schuster Audioworks hasn't abridged a Star Trek novel since William Shatner's "Captain's Glory" in 2006, and it was the first not to be released as an audio cassette. CD and download only! Obviously, Star Trek abridgments have become unprofitable, much as I enjoyed collecting (and listening) to them.

A company called Recorded Books has done a set of unabridged Star Trek audios for the "Vulcan's Soul" trilogy. But, even though I think of myself as a completist, I've had no desire to commit to the expense, let along find the time to listen to many, many hours of these stories, word-for-word, when I've already read them. I feel that unabridged audios are aimed at people who probably don't intend to read the actual book, or want to hear the whole thing again on a looooong journey.

To me, abridged audiobooks often have a fresh take on a story, even if shorter, and they sorta, kinda, feel like an official adaptation/episode.

Every now and then, a fan will ask if there's a place in the market for original audios, but it seems no one has secured the separate license for these since Simon & Schuster's three "Captain Sulu" audio-only experiments in 1994-95. I recall John Ordover, a then-editor of the print novels, once saying that Simon & Schuster was not able to present the audio tracks of the "Star Trek Academy" computer game as an audiobook, (as they had for 1996's "Star Trek: Klingon" and "Star Trek: Borg") when that game came out, because they'd let the part of their licence lapse.

If another original-to-audio series was mooted, it would be very hard to judge what the audience would be. "Doctor Who" and "Blake's Seven" went to original audios when there was a dearth of official new visuals being made. I hear "Star Wars" is about to relaunch as original audios.

Does anyone know if S&S Audio's ST license has actually lapsed, or is there a chance they intend to adapt the big, controversial crossover novel trilogy, "Star Trek: Destiny", later this year? (If they intended to, I'd assume Book 1 would be underway already.) It's odd that S&S would wait so long between audios if they did intend to produce more.

Does anyone know any contacts over at Recorded Books, and if they have more Star Trek plans?

A novel completist

Over on the Star Trek online bulletin boards, there's been a thread about people who ask, but don't always receive, more information about upcoming Star Trek novels from Pocket Books. Who's in it? Where is it placed in the timeline? What's going to happen? Will it clash with other recent ST novels? Will it clash with older titles set in similar territory? Will it get overruled by JJ Abrams' new movie? And so on.

So how much should one know about an upcoming novel before it's "too much" information?

It seems to me there are a lot of ST fans who are very curious about the storylines of ST novels, but lack the finances - or the inclination to find the time for actually reading a novel. They will then seek out reviews or spoilers so they either don't have to read it, or they will seek out spoilers so their curiosity is sated, or so they can say, "Sounds stupid, why should I spend my money?"

When I ran ST clubs (we had a group which grew from 200 to 1000 people over about twelve years), there was only ever a small percentage of members who maintained completist collections of ST novels and comics. I did a column in the newsletter calling "Publishing news" and many of our members were happy enough to read that, and perhaps the odd book review - and not buy the actual books - or they'd grill the completists at monthly meetings.

I see, quite often, people asking online for exhaustive reviews of certain ST novel mini-series - stories that are crossovers with ST series they don't follow, or mini-series that are too long to attract their attention, or mini-series where a few titles are perceived as being weaker than others. When "Voyages of Imagination: The Star Trek Fiction Companion" (2006) was coming out, I remember people boasting they could finally "catch up", as if Jeff Ayers' summaries of all past novels and short stories would somehow be enough.

Perhaps my available funds allow me to be more extravagant? I choose to buy all ST novels and comics, after all, and try to keep pace with reading them all. Maybe if I ran a car and had to educate a family of young children, I'd be scrimping to buy the odd ST book, and perhaps would be scrounging for novel spoilers to satisfy my curiosity, too?

The return of Mr Thelin!

(Cover art by John Picacio)

A few weeks ago, Paul Simpson, editor of the Titan "Star Trek" magazine suggested that I'd be very pleased by the next issue of magazine, and I assume that means there'll be something Thelin-related with the extract of "The Chimes at Midnight". Maybe the distinctive cover art, by the talented John Picacio, which features Thelin the Andorian, from the alternative timeline of "Yesteryear" (Filmation's animated Star Trek series of the 70s)?

Pocket Books' "Myriad Universes: Echoes and Reflections" collection is due in August. It contains three alternate universe stories. "The Chimes at Midnight" is by Geoff Trowbridge. "In a continuum where Spock died during childhood, an Andorian named Thelin became Captain Kirk’s stalwart friend and first officer. But at the moment of Khan’s final defeat, history takes an even stranger turn, and the emerging potential of Project Genesis is revealed as the galaxy’s greatest hope... and its most ominous threat." I can't wait!


Thelin in "Yesteryear"! - this image was tinkered with in Photoshop, several years ago, to give him Andorian blue skin. Famously, on TAS as televised, Thelin's skin is a more of a greyish/causcasian colour, and varies from frame to frame. Although, more recently, on the "Enterprise" TV series, we met the pale blue/white Aenar subspecies who share Andoria with the blue Andorians.

Captain's Log: Supplemental. Here it is: Thelin from the Titan extract:


Issue #12 (US), July/August, 2008, p. 56. Thanks Paul! So cool!

Iron Man and the Dark Knight

I'm hearing nothing but positive reviews for "Iron Man", the latest superhero movie based on the Marvel comic. Robert Downey Jr has been Down Under last week promoting the movie, and he's been on his best behaviour and very charming - and so passionate about the film.

Everyone is saying "Make sure you stay through the credits at the end". I always do, but it's great when you know there's a bonus for the ones who do stay! Can't wait. It opened here last Thursday. I've never really followed "Iron Man" in the comics, but I recall the animated series of the 70s(?) very well, and my younger brother's stunning yellow and red Mego action figure.

Tonight, the TV news shows have been running an intriguing new trailer for "Batman: The Dark Knight", featuring the late Heath Ledger as the Joker. This too looks amazing! A bit longer to wait for this one, though. They are predicting a posthumous Academy Award for Ledger. The media is also suggesting that the regimen (and solitary confinement) the actor voluntarily put himself through, as preparation to get into the Joker's head, is partly to blame for his ongoing problems sleeping, and his dependence on the cocktail of drugs which claimed his life. Sad.

Writing better blog posts

Sue Waters, of The Edublogger, says, "Here’s My First Five Tips For Writing Better Blog Posts — What Are Yours?"

My five tips, to add to Sue's five would include:

1. Use of humour - especially if I find myself telling a funny anecdote more than once. That usually tells me it's worth repeating as a future blog entry. (It's amazing how often I check back through old entries now, and find humorous stories I've almost forgotten writing. If they hadn't ended up in the blog, they'd perhaps be gone forever.)

2. Know your topic(s). I think that sometimes bloggers try to be too eclectic. Focusing on a few topics you know well helps the audience to anticipate your future blog entries in those areas. You become "the guru" on a topic.

3. Know your audience - but also remembering that your audience may well be bigger than you think. (If you miss blogging for an extended period, you are likely to hear from them! I had no idea my two young nieces regularly checked my blog - until I was on vacation, far from an Internet cafe, and they emailed me wondering where I'd vanished to.)

4. Keep in mind the international nature of the World Wide Web. Be prepared to be informative by embedding a few clues in your posts. Remind them where you are writing from. Some quirky, localized things will seem quite bizarre to those of your readers not familiar with certain terminology, places, customs, the local slang, etc.

5. A picture is worth a thousand words. A picture can help explain many of the above mysteries for international web surfers. Most of my new visitors seem to come via people following a link to posts after locating one of my Flickr photos, which they found during a search of Google Images!

Revenge of the mousse

Yesterday afternoon I made a quick dash to the supermarket and, on a whim, decided that I would gather up the ingredients to make the Quick Chocolate Mousse recipe from my school's cook book that was made for, and distributed at, the recent reading picnic. I'd been given a sample of the finished mousse on the big day, and I have been curious to see if it was really as easy to make as it seemed.

I guessed a little enthusiastically on quantities while shopping, and managed to buy twice as much chocolate, cream and marshmallows as necessary, so I simply doubled the amounts. Unwise, on reflection, because the melting marshmallows grew enormous in the microwave oven, and the mid-procedure cleanup was tricky - melted marshmallow mixture is not only very, very hot, but it sticks like the strongest adhesive ever invented. If the mess didn't attract ants, it would make amazing quick-set glue!

The sensible quantities, as described in the actual recipe, required 125g dark chocolate, broken into small squares, 100g marshmallows, 300ml thickened cream and 1 teaspoon vanilla essence. (Oh, I just realised I used ordinary cream last night, and it worked fine!)

You then simply combine the chocolate and marshmallows over a double saucepan, stirring over simmering water until melted, or microwave on "High" for about one and a half minutes. (I microwaved the marshmallows separately, but in a bowl too small for the job, intending to stir in the chocolate squares later, but that was a decision made before I glued a fork, a spoon, my fingers and several other things to the sides of the container, and the inner walls of the microwave oven, when the hot marshmallow overflowed! (You know, I had a latent memory fragment of marshmallows melting into a clear liquid, but these were just white, cumulus fluff.) It was like karmic payback that I ended up with a panicky clean-up job before the housemate arrived home and discovered what I'd done to the kitchen.

Anyway, you then just gradually stir in the cream and vanilla, and pour out into separate serving bowls if liked. (I left mine in the big bowl I'd turned my melted marshmallows into, and it worked.) Refrigerate overnight - and secretly enjoy the huge wad of stickjaw chocolate fudge that may accumulate on the stirring fork, if you're lucky. (Those last few scrapes of hot chocolate/marshmallow hitting the cold cream mixture was a yummy, fortunate mistake of an afterthought.)

Serve with more cream and more chocolate, as mentioned in the recipe's extravagant "serving suggestion". And thank the heavens it's Junk Food Day today.

Sunday's magic number: 94.0. Ooopsie. Mmmm, pass the mousse, but hold the antlers.

The Top 100?

Over in Dipping into the Blogpond, Meg has been challenged about her "Top 100" index of Australian blogs.

I’m confused. I can think of hundreds of ways someone could create a "Top 100" list, but I don’t see any problem with Meg calling her list "THE Top 100"and not "A Top 100". On Meg’s blog, the list IS a definite article. The guy doing the complaining, Lee, is entitled to think of it as an indefinite article on his blog.

I check out my own stats (on Site meter) every so often, mainly because they are… fascinating. Maybe if my blog was used for revenue raising, I’d worry what they really meant? Even trying to imagine how open to interpretation my stats are, depending on which stats are given priority over others, that someone could challenge Meg over there being better ways to calculate a "Top 100"...

I've visited the list of the "Top 100" twice in the last year. It's a handy way to check out blogs I hadn't discovered before, but many of those listed are not of interest to me, no matter how their stats are calculated. I never thought of it being definitive for anyone beyond Meg herself. And I understand that Lee is on the list (currently #76, up from #86); maybe just not high enough for his liking?

I’m confused... and bemused.

Greedy for blogs

In the last year at work/ie.school, we've formed at least three new professional learning groups that extend beyond our one school and take in other local schools with similar goals and projects. Inevitably, these networks mean even more after-school committee meetings, but the value of the results these groups can produce, means it's usually well work the time invested.

Today, I found myself volunteering to create another blog for the teachers, teacher-librarians and consultants involved in two of the groups - this one a little more in-house in theme, purpose and audience/participants, so I won't be promoting the URL far and wide at this point, although if it takes off it may well find a niche beyond its original brief. It's only very early days yet.

Essentially, it's a blog about our school (and other schools in our learning support group)'s quest to select, purchase and efficiently utilise interactive whiteboards (IWBs) in our school programs. I had suggested to the network that involving ourselves in some group projects would be a great way to support each other, proactively on several learning journeys with the IWBs. Me and my big mouth. (A new wiki activity just wasn't enough!)

As my third blog (fourth if I count helping out with the Wilfrid rap blog last term), I was astounded how quickly I could go to Edublogs, throw together a few pieces of already-created information and have a slick-looking set of posts, attachments, links and models of previous examples in about an hour, with a few hours of after-work tinkering to get the presentation looking user-friendly.

It's empowering!

Living in a vacuum

Tonight I had the pleasure of meeting three new members of our monthly Star Trek Meetup group. One, a recent "migrant" from north Queensland is happily making new Star Trek acquaintances. The other two of them, a young couple, have lived in Sydney all their lives, have always been fans of various aspects of the Star Trek phenomenon, but somehow have managed to not have encountered organised Star Trek fandom before.

Furthermore, as big "Lost" fans, they didn't know that JJ Abrams was directing the next "Star Trek" movie, or that it was highlighting the characters from the original series (ie. TOS)! It made my night being able to fill them in with all the hot gossip on casting.

I found this great interview with Anton Yelchin (the new Chekov) on Youtube. Leonard Maltin, who is practically bubbling over with excitement for this new movie, conducted an exclusive chat for ReelzChannel.com :

Synthesis!

On Monday, the staffs of seven schools in our learning community gathered in my school’s assembly hall to hear Jamie McKenzie speaking on the importance of authentic learning in today’s schools.

I first became aware of USA-based Jamie McKenzie (and his online writings in From Now On) when commissioning one of my first articles as editor of the teacher-librarians’ professional journal, Scan. It’s amazing to look at the date on that article and recall that it was in 1998 when Lyn Hay, of Charles Sturt University, provided “An interview with Jamie McKenzie” (for Scan, vol 17, no 2, pp 5-7). Jamie had become a guru among teacher-librarians around the world for his then-current investigations into power learning and imagining the “post modem” school. The printed interview ended up being a prelude to his visit to Sydney, later that year, for a professional development day attended by many teacher-librarians and a few intrigued school principals. Teacher-librarians following Jamie McKenzie’s work found much to bolster their efforts in collaborative teaching, and Jamie has continued to be a great advocate for the work being done by Australia’s teacher-librarians. But how far did his message reach?

A full decade on, some of his emphases have certainly evolved but it was rewarding for me to be back in the teacher-librarian role, and seeing Jamie’s latest messages about questions of import, authentic learning and assessment, the “smart use” of information communication technologies (ICT), quality teaching and learning, and the embracing of complexity, being shared with a room full of attentive teachers, executive staff, teachers’ aides, not just the seven teacher-librarians. It was also pleasing that he, again, complimented Australia’s teacher-librarians for their ongoing proactive role in supporting teachers and students grappling with authentic learning and the smart use of technologies (and he included print books as one “technology”).

More commentary follows on my other blog, where I attempt to synthesise about synthesis!

Falling off the wagon - deliciously

I expected bad news. Stepping onto the bathroom scales today was never going to be anything else, but it was a worthy experiment. I can now say with confidence that a two-week celebration, with a food frenzy free-for-all can add over a kilogram eeach week. Especially when the weather has been too dismal to do much walking (ie. the dog ducks off under the bed when he suspects there is rain outside).

This is definitely how I reversed last year's dieting efforts so effortlessly! Fifteen weeks of carefree eating leads to fifteen kilograms of ugly fat; I didn't need to really repeat the experiment, but gosh it was fun doing so. Two Krispy Kreme donuts on Thursday - despite walking the length of Pitt Street, Sydney, in the rain - was not the wisest move. But then, neither was today's Big Mac - my first Big Mac in about eight months!

You know, you can really taste the vinegar in Big Mac Special Sauce when you haven't eaten it in eight months.

Sunday's magic number: 93.7. Okay, I detect a pattern here. After the catered morning tea and lunch tomorrow, for the professional development day at school, the diet's back.

A sequel and a prequel

This school vacation, I've managed to squeeze in the reading of two hardcover novels, of in the science fiction media genre - d'uh - and both of them rather controversial in their approach, yet very enjoyable... despite some frustrating faults.

First up was Kenneth Johnson's long-awaited novel of his long-promised sequel to "V". Now, although I already knew that this novel, set twenty years after the first mini-series ended, would be ignoring both "V: The Final Battle" and "V: The Series", there was nothing in the book to introduce such a premise. A little unfair to fans, I think, especially as picking up an old copy of AC Crispin's "V" novelization would present a thick book where the entire second half was overlooked. At the very least, a text summary of the first valid-for-the-novel "V" instalments would have been appreciated.

Although the Visitors, as of "V: The Second Generation", have been cruel overseers on Earth for two decades now, not a lot else has changed. The Visitors' technology does not seem to have advanced much in twenty years; they are still processing humans into hibernation pods, siphoning our water supply, and the alien motherships have black and white security monitors. Why do the reptilian invaders continue to wear false human skins, and why do new arrivals from Sirius also adopt human names? Why does "nice alien" Willy still make dreadful malapropisms after so many years living in the USA - and why has Martin gone two whole decades in the Vistors' Fifth Column of turncoats without being discovered?

The action of "The Second Generation" also seems to be centred on now-inland San Francisco; Los Angeles is rarely even mentioned, although it was the focus of so much of the story in the various TV episodes. The book doesn't really get into any character's head for very long; a lot of the action is described in much the way as it would have appeared in the teleplay Johnson was expanding into regular prose.

Freedom fighter human leaders Juliet Parish and Mike Donovan are featured players, as expected, as is the sultry, manipulative Visitor, Diana. Diana is joined by a new rival, Jeremy, and the supposedly mysterious Sirian Leader - whose gender is kept unmentioned, on purpose, for much of the story arc.

Unfortunately, humans and Visitors who appear in "V: The Second Generation" are sometimes humans and Visitors who died heroically in either "V: The Final Battle" or "V: The Series". Robert Maxwell, Willy's girlfriend Harmy (she did die in the second mini-series, didn't she?), and Fifth Columnist Martin, are all alive and kicking in "V: The Second Generation". Other characters, such as Robin Maxwell, Leader John, Brian, Steven, Daniel and Elias, who could have all been featured, or at least mentioned by the novel, are essentially ignored, or glossed over.

There is also an annoying overuse of names. There is a Charles and a Nathan, but these are definitely not the Charles and Nathan of "V: The Series". There is a new Visitor, Shawn, but there is mention of missing human, Sean Donovan, Mike's son. Instead of the hybrid Starchild, Elizabeth (of whom Johnson did not approve), there's a new halfbreed character, Ruby - and she's been named after an elderly character, from "V", who is said to have died. In addition, there are many other halfbreed teenagers, and these are treated in very similar ways to the Newcomers of Johnson's similar allegorical TV series, "Alien Nation".

Despite my many misgivings, the action certainly comes thick and fast. Three insectoid aliens in hominid guise, representatives of the powerful, vengeful race, known as the Zedti, attempt to use the hapless, weary humans' ongoing dilemma to resolve their own feuds with the reptilian invaders.

With the addition of the Zedti, there is certainly lots of promise for a new ongoing series of episodes, telemovies or a sequel mini-series. However, I'm sure ignoring huge slabs of "V: The Final Battle" and "V: The Series" would be ultimately confusing for many viewers, unless there is to be a remake of the first "V" mini-series to accompany any new stories.

I've also just finished "Star Trek: Academy: Collision Course", by William Shatner, with Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens. This hardcover received extremely mixed reviews when it came out last October, so I put it beneath several other novels.

While it is well known that Shatner's previous nine-part hardcover saga (of Kirk's return from death beyond "Star Trek: Generations"), the so-called "Shatnerverse", has always operated within its own, ummm, pocket universe, this new prequel-to-TOS novel doesn't necessarily quash anything canonical (ie. onscreen, live action material), although it certainly stretches a few "fanonical" friendships.

I usually enjoy Star Trek hardcovers very much, but I began this one with great trepidation. Not many people online seemed to like it. Essentially this novel ignores most previous ST novels, especially the ones about Kirk's father, and Kirk Sr's career on the Enterprise under Captain Robert April. But the premise is intriguing, if not requiring suspension of disbelief. We see both teenaged Jim Kirk and teenaged Spock consorting with criminals, being shunted of to Starfleet training without a fair court martial, not to mention seemingly numerous links to young Kirk's very traumatic experiences under Kodos the Executioner, long before the secret events of "The Conscience of the King" (TOS) are revealed.

As Vulcan Ambassador Sarek, and Eugene Mallory - son of a redshirt we already know will one day die under then-Captain Kirk's command - discover, a little logic can go a long way when solving a crime. Annoying though,

And deja vu!: despite my many misgivings about this hardcover as well, the action in "Collision Course" certainly comes thick and fast. A real collision course, actually. People may have slammed it for ignoring "Final Frontier" and "Best Destiny", two very strong George Kirk Sr stories by Diane Carey, but there's also lots to enjoy.

There'll be frustrations no matter what. Jim's Dad is called George Joseph "Joe" Kirk is this one! And, for those who disliked "Star Trek: Enterprise", the TV series prequel to TOS, you may well be tetchy about Academy buildings named for Archer, Tucker and Mayweather - and even a non-"name drop" for Hoshi Sato and her husband, via their little great grandson! (It pays to read the fine print!) For those of us who are fans of Enterprise, it's a nice bonus. I should note that Shatner's regular ST novel co-authors were staff writers on "Enterprise" during its fourth (and many say, best) season.

This is a novel with a new, but still valid, take on the Sarek/Spock relationship. And it's about an extremely troubled, very different Jimmy Kirk, one far removed from the Kirk we met in previous prequels to TOS, (and sure to be overruled by the upcoming ST XI) but after the Tarsus IV experiences related in "Collision Course", who can blame him?

If you can make it through the first four or five chapters, it's easy to keep reading! I went into the book expecting it to be horrid, based on all the negativity it seemed to garner, but I was surprised how involving it became.

Sweet coincidence

My site meter tells me that a recent visitor to my blog had typed into Google "Ian McLean cupcakes" and I was a bit bewildered as to how they knew I'd mentioned them a few times, especially last Midwinter Christmas, even if only briefly, but I followed the Google link and it led to this page... of posters for sale!

They weren't painted by me, no, but they do look delicious. Mmmmm, cupcakes...

Speaking of junk food - gosh I'm so hungry now -

Sunday's magic number: 92.6. No cupcakes for me, he says, eating his fifth Lemon Crisp bikkie. (What? I'm celebrating my big toe's return to full health. Any excuse.)

The Enterprise Experiment

I picked up my copy of IDW Publishing's "Star Trek: Year Four: The Enterprise Experiment" #1 yesterday and read it in the train on the way home. A major role for "Star Trek: The Animated Series" (TAS)'s tripodal Lieutenant Arex - yay! - and a great, page-turning beginning for the new story arc by DC Fontana (Mrs TAS herself!) and Derek Chester.

I loved the TOS/TAS rendition of the San Francisco airtram station, soon to be upgraded in time for TMP, I presume.

The story is, of course, a sequel to the TOS episode, "The Enterprise Incident" (in which Captain Kirk disguised himself as a Romulan to steal a cloaking device from the female Romulan Commander). This time, in a story that takes place during the TAS years, the Enterprise is testing a cloaking device of its own.


Arex: such a handy crewman to have around


No "Quad Covers (TM)" for this storyline (as per the "New Frontier" issues)? When I arrived at the comic shop, they'd put aside the "Year Four" Spock cover (Cover B) issue for me, but I really wanted the great Mr Arex and Kirk (Cover A) instead, of course. But all the shelf copies had sold already! (Stock only arrived the day before.) Luckily, my trusty comic seller rummaged through the standing order boxes, found the last unclaimed Arex cover issue, and did me a swap. Too bad if the other guy preferred Arex, too.

I'm really enjoying IDW's efforts; I just wish the multiple and "rare" covers didn't cause as many heartaches for me, or for the completists out there who must be driven crazy by now.

"Melting, melting, I'm melting..."

Okay, it's the age-old mystery:

"How did the Wicked Witch of the West ever take a bath?"

It was raining in Mittagong today, our last pitstop before arriving home from our Canberra vacation. I just couldn't resist snapping this witch's hat, which was sitting so forlornly on the pavement in the constant drizzle.

It was perfect weather for fish, chips, battered savs and potato scallops. But please don't tell anyone. (Sadly, every day of this holiday has been Junk Food Day. I just hope I did enough walking...)

Roar like a dinosaur!

I've been reading a wonderful book, "The Wollemi pine: the incredible discovery of a living fossil from the age of the dinosaurs" by James Woodford (Text Publishing, new ed. 2005), which I picked up a few months ago from the Botanical Gardens in the city. The book reminds me of a political thriller or a whodunnit, only it's real and the blithely ignorant star of the book is a grove of trees which forgot to go extinct. Amazing stuff.

The trees were only discovered in 1994, in the almost-inaccessible wilderness of the Wollemi region of New South Wales, it was the botanical analog to the discovery of a living coelacanth (a primitive fish, previously only seen in fossils) in the waters off Cape Town, South Africa, in 1938.

I think the discovery of the Wollemi pines has even more indelible for me, in that the big press announcements were made on my birthday, 14th December, of 1994. Nothing like having one's birthday swept off the news radar by the discovery of a tree that had survived since the Cretaceous Period!

Ever since, there has been a concerted effort to propagate Wollemi pines and they've been on public sale for some time now. I'm determined to buy myself one of these amazing plants, onesdayrealsoonIhope - and how ironic if I don't care for it properly and it goes extinct on me? - but this vacation gave me a chance for us to pretend we were in a whole rainforest of Wollemi pines at Greengold Heritage Nursery in Yarralumla.




At Greengold Heritage Nursery, Yarralumla.

Jack lives here

Well, Jack seems happy to live anywhere I happen to be; such is the loyalty of a Jack Russell terrier. He really is a wonderful little traveller. He seems to eagerly anticipate each leg of the journey and, even after wandering for hours on his lead and harness through various country town centres, or around the perimeter of Lake Burley Griffin on a warm afternoon, he always seems ready to do it all again, gleefully, at the next pitstop. (Even when those nasty swans keeping chasing one all around the lake and honking at one to make one want to bark... and get one into big trouble from the Master's housemate!)



Pet-friendly bed 'n' breakfast venues usually request that dogs not be left alone in the accommodation, and in summer it's impossible to leave an animal alone in a stationary car for even a few minutes, so having a dog on holiday can be a burden at times - ie. no trips to the cinema, and only brief sojourns into air-conditioned shopping arcades, while one human waits outside with the four-legged "child" - but mostly it's a joy to take Jack on vacation.

On nights when he's quite tired, we are usually able to leave him in the car outside a restaurant and have something more substantial than fast food, or sidewalk cafe fare. We left Jack outside a pizza restaurant last night, and he was still wrapped in his blanket when we got back. He hadn't even moved to peek out the window to see how far away we were going to be! It does take a lot to make a Jack Russell tired, but there have been a few times when we've achieved such a feat.

Toe-tal healing

As you may recall, I injured my left big toe two Saturdays ago, by dropping an eight-VHS boxed set on it. I've been hobbling ever since.

Happily, the injury seems to be healing very nicely. Twice-daily bathing in Dettol, lots of Savlon cream, etc, seems to have kept all trace of infection away. I was able to wear slip-on, covered shoes to work on the Thursday and Friday, and the area around the cuticle seems to be repairing itself, and no trace that the nail will drop off. Whew! (I was determined not to see a doctor unless infection sprung up, either under the nail itself or deep under the damaged cuticle; I simply couldn't see what else a doctor might do for it - would it be worth the several hours of waiting for my name to be called down at the medical centre?)

I am fascinated with the human body's amazing ability to repair itself, and to remember where everything needs to go; if you'd seen my toe last week you wouldn't have been able to imagine what was needed to get it looking normal again, at least not without antibiotics, or maybe some medical glue. Certainly, although the skin near the nail had split in two places, there was nowhere to even consider putting in stitches, so I figured waiting it out was all I could do.

Today, the toe's looking almost normal again. Luckily I've been able to spend most of the week shoeless and sockless. Despite the lower Canberra temperatures at night, the days have featured glorious thong-wearing weather (that's flip flop-wearing weather for all you suddenly-horrified US readers). Getting some fresh air to my toe has definitely helped.




Rainbows are possible, even on sunny days, in Canberra!

Marathon efforts

Yesterday, while waiting for the Old Bus Depot Sunday Markets to open, we wandered over to watch the runners finishing up the annual Canberra Marathon race.

While I did worry that the announcer might say something like, "Ladies and gentlemen, the new record has just been set by a Jack Russell chasing a seagull across the finish line", we were quite close to the action.

The most amusing action was happening a few bends away, where a group of local teens had armed themselves with binoculars and a thick printout of participants' names and registration numbers. As numerous very sweaty runners would approach this group, the teens would select someone to barrack for. To the (lucky) chosen runner's absolute bewilderment, the youths would then start yelling, "Come on Bruce, you can do it mate!" or "Go for it, Jennifer!", or "Yay, Davo, keep going, man!", and so on. I swear we saw these runners transform, and they'd pick up a little speed and/or confidence to appease their young (supposed) fans' efforts.

The kids' collective enthusiasm wilted just a little, though, when they picked out one particular runner and yelled, "Onya George! Good effort! Keep it up!"

The bemused runner called back, "You guys know me? That's great! You can take care of this for me. I'll get it back from you some time."

With that, the runner stripped off his sweat-saturated shirt and tossed it to the barrackers. Now they had the bewildered looks. Priceless.

A capital idea

There's something rather ironic about me calling this blog "Have Phaser, Will Travel" and the only time it goes dormant is when I'm travelling.

One reason is that I don't have a laptop (yet) and, when on vacation, the last thing I really want to do is race off to an Internet cafe, and do hilarious and/or witty blog entries on-the-spot, live from the scene. While the concept is exciting, I guess, I'm not so sure it's a good idea to announce to the world, "Hey, I'm on vacation, so's the housemate, the abode is unattended - and I even have the watchdog on holiday with me, not guarding the house, while I blog to you daily from this poky cafe!"


We are taking the
blankie, aren't we?"

A complete break from the Internet is not a bad idea, either. If I had a laptop, I just know I'd never get anything else - but a little blogging - done. I almost cherish time away from emails and web surfing so I can get some Star Trek novels read!

We departed on Saturday morning and were at our Downer (ACT), dog-friendly bed 'n' breakfast by the afternoon, having spent a brief time in beautiful Berrima on the way. We bought some pumpkin bread there, that will taste scrummy, and some sweets from the good ol' Lolly Swagman to keep us munching along the way.

On Friday night, before we left, I'd paid a few bills via the Internet. Then I realised during the car trip south - to my horror - that I'd forgotten to organise payment for some vintage Star Trek metal miniatures I'd won from a US seller on eBay earlier in the week. Thanks to the wonders of the Internet and public libraries, I effortlessly booked 30 mins Internet time at Dickson Public Library yesterday afternoon, just before closing. I even managed to check my emails online, change my PayPal password and send $$$$$ to my toy seller. Whew!

And no, despite the date and time on this entry, I didn't write it (or the next five entries) in the library, although i was tempted. I did it the old fashioned way - handwritten notes on a scrap of paper. Yay post-vacation "Post Options" hyperlinks!

Sunday's magic number: 91.0. Yeah, the French food and red wine did it, I think.

Summers past

Based on our enjoyment of the wonderful teachers' preview of "Bateaux Jouets: toy boats from Paris 1850-1950" of a few weeks ago, last night I forfeited my regular race-through-the-CBD, collecting my comics and books, to attend, with a work colleague and her teacher sister, the opening of two more exciting exhibits at the Australian National Maritime Museum, "Summers Past: Golden days in the sun 1950-1970" and "The River: Life on the Murray-Darling". Both exhibits have just returned from successful national tours.

What a great way to soak up some great Australian nostalgia! I'm not sure what else to say other than, if you're in Sydney when these exhibits are still running, then go see them! They are well worth a lingering look.

My colleagues and I then wandered across to The Little Snail French restaurant, Pyrmont, where we enjoyed an impromptu meal. In fact, we'd been secretly desiring a visit to that restaurant ever since the manager had promoted it at the previous "Bateaux Jouets" night. Last time I was at "The Little Snail", it was absurdly decorated with palm trees, monkeys and surfboards (courtesy of previous owners of the space "The Little Snail" moved into). I'm happy to report that the food is as delectable as ever!

So how weird is that? "The Little Snail" serves French food and promoted itself at an exhibition of French toys, but it used to have a beach theme for its decor. But we didn't get there until we saw a beach-themed museum exhibit, by which time the restaurant had a more French decor again.

And how weird that I gave up Kings Comics and Galaxy Bookshop for a week, just to eat French cuisine! Mind you, my left big toe has only just started to resemble a toe again, so the close proximity of "The Little Snail" to the museum was most welcome.

Hey, today's the last day of the school term. I made it!

Number one in comics

Star Trek author Peter David has written a comic mini-series for IDW Publishing that continues his excellent, quirky "New Frontier" novels. It's not his first time contributing to a "New Frontier" comic - "Double Time" (2000) was a one-shot for WildStorm (and later collected as a trade omnibus, "Other Realities" in 2001). The first new issue, "Turnabout, Part 1", is nicely done, and the mini-series promises to show us plenty of the cast additions since the timeline jumped forward three years in Pocket books' "After the Fall" (2004) and "Missing in Action" (2006).

This time, Peter David made sure to show us the face of Morgan Primus! Last time, he hid her face under a towel, and then behind a hand mirror. Of course, she's a dead ringer for Number One, of "The Cage", Star Trek's first pilot - but we knew that! In the books we've heard characters notice a resemblance to Number One (ie. Majel Barrett), Christine Chapel (ie. Majel Barrett), Lwaxana Troi (ie. Majel Barrett) and even the distinctive voice of Starfleet computers (ie. Majel Barrett).

It's also possible the immortal mother of Robin Lefler was also once the immortal Morgan LeFay, of the Excalibur/Arthurian legends (USS Excalibur being the name of the ship upon which Morgan now serves), or maybe it's simply the role which Majel Barrett would have played had "New Frontier" been a TV show!


The enigmatic Morgan Primus (left: "Double Time", 2000; right: "Turnabout", 2008)

Alas, this time there's no Ensign Janos. The sentient mugato security officer's fate was sealed in the novel instalment, "New Frontier: Stone and Anvil".


Janos in Ten-Forward
("Double Time", 2000)

Sunday's magic number: 89.7. Yay!

Star Trek: Signature Editions

If I ever give a longish answer to a poster over on TrekBBS or Psi Phi, I like to copy it to the blog for posterity. It makes life much easier when the same question gets asked again a few months/years later. I realised a while ago that people often hyperlink my Star Trek items from places like Wikipedia, Memory Alpha and Memory Beta, and two of my most popular blog posts ever - according to SiteMeter - concern fannish Faces in the crowd on the Rec Deck in "Star Trek: The Motion Picture" and The truth about Efrosians.

Today, someone wanted details on Pocket Books' "Signature Edition" omnibuses of reprinted Star Trek novels. I knew I had it saved in an email somewhere. And here it is:



There are seven ST "Signature editions" from Pocket Books in all, trade paperback omnibuses of popular past novels, collected by theme or author. In brief, all of the "Signature Editions" have new introductions and/or afterwords, and the four in the first batch have interviews with the authors by Kevin Dilmore, and facsimile signatures. In order on my shelf they are:

"Worlds in Collision" (Nov 2003) reprints "Memory Prime" and "Prime Directive" by Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens and features TOS Kirk (a lower quarter portrait) on the cover, a new introduction by the authors, and an interview with the authors by Kevin Dilmore.

"Duty, Honor, Redemption" (Oct 2004) reprints the novelizations of "ST II: The Wrath of Khan", "ST III: The Search for Spock" and "ST IV: The Voyage Home" by Vonda N McIntyre and features movie-era Kirk (a lower quarter portrait) on the cover and a new introduction by Terry J Erdmann interviewing Harve Bennett, "the man behind the movies". The book has had minor errors corrected, such as "McGivers" for "McGiver". Sulu's promotion to captain (in ST II) is removed, since the line was dropped from ST II and then ignored by the other movies.

"Sand and Stars" (Dec 2004) reprints "Spock's World" by Diane Duane and "Sarek" by AC Crispin and features TMP Spock (a lower quarter portrait) on the cover and a new introduction about Vulcans, with quotes from Tim Russ (Tuvok, VOY) and Gary Graham (Soval, ENT), by Terry J Erdmann.

"Pantheon" (Sept 2003) reprints "TNG: Reunion" and "TNG: The Valiant" by Michael Jan Friedman, with an all-new bridging arc that connects the two tales (ie. seven extra paragraphs from a reflective Guinan.) It also features Stargazer-era Picard (a lower quarter portrait) on the cover, a new introduction by the author, and an interview with the author by Kevin Dilmore. The bookend historical chapters for "The Valiant" are widened to embrace both stories in the SE.

"The Q Continuum" (Oct 2003) reprints the TNG Q trilogy ("Q-Zone", "Q-Space" and "Q-Strike") by Greg Cox and features Judge Q (a lower quarter portrait) on the cover and an interview with the author by Kevin Dilmore. Cox took the chance to make several stardate error corrections, and changed a few mentions of "the original Enterprise" to "Kirk's Enterprise", to avoid confusion with Archer's ship since "Star Trek: Enterprise" was the current series on the air.

"Imzadi Forever" (Dec 2003) reprints "TNG: Imzadi" and "TNG: Imzadi II: Triangle" by Peter David and features TNG-era Troi (a lower quarter portrait) on the cover, a new introduction by the author, and an interview with the author by Kevin Dilmore.

"The Hand of Kahless" (Nov 2004) reprints "The Final Reflection" by the late John M Ford and "TNG: Kahless" by Michael Jan Friedman and features TNG Kahless (a lower quarter portrait) on the cover and a new introduction about the evolution of Klingons over the generations, with quotes from Marc Okrand (linguist, writer of "The Klingon Dictionary") and Dan Curry (TNG visual effects), by Terry J Erdmann.



Only the 2003 omnibuses contain facsimile signatures from the authors. The series title continued, presumably because these are books you'd present to authors for signing(?).

The omnibus for the Reeves-Stevens' "DS9: Millennium", which is not a "Signature Edition", has a bonus Allyn Gibson timeline (of the complex plots) that didn't appear in the original MMPBs. The MMPB omnibus collecting MJF's "Starfleet: Year One", which was originally serialized over a whole year, has new material and new characters. Its original chapters were divided up and blended with each other, too. The "Rihannsu saga" omnibus, "The Bloodwing Voyages", also not a SE, corrects Diane Duane's assumption that there was a second five year mission between TOS and TMP and corrects some dates and ranks. The first DS9 Relaunch omnibus, "Twist of Faith", has a new foreword by David R George III.

Although some early ads for "Odyssey", the omnibus collecting the first three Shatner/Reeves-Stevens novels about Kirk, claimed to have new linking paragraphs, the final result did not seem to include any new material.

No other Pocket ST omnibuses (to date) have new material, or I'd have bought them. :)

Seeing stars? Call a toe truck!

Ouch. I just dropped a boxed set of the first eight "Star Trek" movies on VHS on my foot. Strangely, there was no immediate pain... until I retrieved the heavy giftbox had a closer look at my injury - and saw that the corner of the box had landed right on the edge of the big toe nail on my left foot.

Now there is pain! And blood. I've applied a makeshift tight bandage with an Elastiplast and a piece of material, but I'm really not game to have another look yet.

Guess what was on the shopping list I made this morning, that I will now not be able to complete (until my housemate arrives home from a week's vacation tonight)? Yes, I needed to restock Dettol antiseptic, since the old bottle I tossed a few weeks ago was almost empty, and the last dregs had turned to jelly in the bottom of the bottle. Ick. (Mind you, at this point I'd apply 1998 vintage Dettol jelly if I could guarantee my toe will be infection free as it recovers.

I needed to shop badly. The only food in the house at the moment is a punnet of strawberries I put into a bowl of Boronia marsala this morning. I think I might just drain them now and drink the marinade.

Ouch, ouch, ouch.

I just know I'm gonna lose the nail...

(And stop looking at me that way, Jack. It might be Saturday afternoon, and beautiful weather outside, but no walkies today! For reasons that should be obvious.)

What's under the stairs?

It's been frantic at school this week: the annual Book Fair in our school library and today is the culmination, Grandparents' Day! (I'm the teacher-librarian, up to my neck in Book Fair books and overly-decorated stationery.)

I just had to share a wonderful moment from yesterday afternoon. One of the Year 1 students came racing into the library, wild-eyed - just as I was trying to slip away from the Book Fair for a quick lunchtime coffee.

"Mr McLean! Mr McLean!" he exclaimed, "There are some Bad Words out here, under the stairs."

I'd noticed some chalked arrows on the steps earlier in the day, but I hadn't thought to investigate further. Crouching down, I could see some choice four-letter words on a support beam of the stairs attached to our portable building.

"Well," I reflected. "You'll just have to make sure that you don't read them until I can get them removed."

"It's okay, Mr McLean," he said, beaming at me. "I can't read!"

(The funny thing is, he's quite a talented little reader.) It was just the release I needed towards the end of a tense day, topped off only by numerous parent visitors, getting a sneak preview of the Book Fair stock.

"My kid talks about the library all the time," several of them said. "He/she just loves coming to this library!"

Yes, enough ego-boo to get me through Grandparents' Day, I reckon.