Minnie Pearl and the APEC transport debacle

"Minnie Pearl and the undersea bazaar"
by Natalie Jane Prior & Cheryl Orsini (ABC, 2007)
is being launched today at Muffledux Books, Clovelly.

I'm off the hook, to use a thematically suitable term, although I was quite looking forward to attending this book launch today. But it coincides with the transport havoc created by Sydney playing host to APEC this week, and Natalie rang me yesterday to say that her family cancelled their plans to fly down from Brisbane for the weekend due to her daughter's ear infection. (I think half of Brisbane still has that rotten cold it gave me last week!) So, I shall give it a miss. Cheryl Orsini will still be there. I wish her (and Natalie, in absentia) a very happy launch.

"Minnie Pearl and the undersea bazaar" is a very clever children's picture book about mermaids, with lovely "Roaring 20s" period-style costumes, art deco embellishments, and lots of in-jokes hidden in both the art and text, including a reference to the original version of "The Little Mermaid". May there soon be a fresh haul of Minnie Pearl titles joining this one on the shelves.

Sunday's magic number: 93.3 - and we're back on track! I celebrated today with a piece of chocolate cake (ie. it's Junk Food Day!). Amazing how great chocolate tastes when you haven't had any for an extended period. I was offered a single French fry last weekend and it was... almost orgasmic!

Stuffed up

Well, it was inevitable. Staying with Maria, Peter and little Benjamin last weekend, all of whom were recovering from nasty bouts of head colds and dreadful hacking coughs, I was fairly sure I'd end up congested myself by this weekend. And so, as predicted, I've spent my bonus APEC Conference Public Holiday in my robe, and desperately trying to ignore the dog's hints about a walk around the block. Sorry Jack, I'm saving my strength to battle this lurgy, and to make sure it doesn't overwhelm me.

I was thinking of going up to Katoomba by train either tomorrow or Sunday, for some second hand bookshop rummaging - but good ol' State Rail have replaced Blue Mountains trains with buses so they can work on the line. (I thought the long weekend was meant to encourage us to avoid heading into the city?) By the same token, my author friend Natalie Jane Prior has a picture book launch over on the north side of Sydney on Sunday. I've been invited and, ordinarily, this may have meant a trip to Central on the country train, and then a leisurely and scenic ferry ride from Circular Quay but, with APEC breathing down everyone's necks, and no country trains doing the Katoomba to Penrith route (and presumably replaced by "all stations" trains to the city), it might be courting with disaster to try to get there. Poor Natalie and her family have to travel to the airport after the book launch; that may require lots of luck as well as good timing. Talk about "stuffed up".

Ah choo!

Farewell to David, Karen & Tal - and my penknife

I've just returned from three days in gloriously sunny Brisbane. I flew up on Friday afternoon - feeling very chuffed at having selected my own plane seat and printed out my own boarding pass at home the day being leaving! Yes, it's now possible to get on a plane without speaking to any human beings at the airport! Bizarre!

Alas, my poor penknife. Travelling with only carry-on luggage as I was, I suddenly realised I had nowhere to put my trusty ol' little penknife, which has been attached to my keyring for about twenty years! No sharps permitted in airline cabins these days so, not wanting to risk a $100,000 fine, into a garbage bin it went. Sob.

Saturday was a quick trip to the local mall for a haircut, and then into the city with my friend Maria and her new(ish) baby, Benjamin, who was born a few weeks after my last trip to Brisbane, last year. We dashed around all my favourite haunts: Ace Comics, Egg (second hand collectibles - I actually completed my "Herculoids" action figure collection!), Comics Etc (where I located an elusive Star Trek comic art cover), Mr Toys' Toyworld and Daily Planet. I think I managed to find something very cool and/or well-priced in all locations! Ben was very considerate and sat looking very cute and patient in his stroller.

You should have seen me, a few hours later, frantically freeing all my toy purchases from their little plastic sarcophagi to squeeze them into my cabin baggage allowance. Even though Maria and Peter had offered me the use of a large suitcase, I had to know well in advance if I needed it or not - before printing off my return journey's boarding pass on their computer! Seeing I don't have photo ID (I'm a permanent pedestrian), it was in my best interest not to have to try to prove who I was with two credit cards (and a current bill in my name with my domestic address printed on it).

Saturday night was spent with my old conQuest buddies at author Natalie Jane Prior's house, sitting on the balcony munching on Thai food and overlooking the annual River Festival fireworks. Most congenial!

Sunday was the Sci-Nut Star Trek Convention, with guests Jack Donner ("Tal" the Romulan), Star Trek novelist David R George III and his wife Karen. I'd been lucky enough to meet them the week before at a Sydney celebratory brunch, but this time my fellow Star Trek Meet-up and TrekBBS denizen, Rosalind, was also able to make the trek up from Sydney to meet David, and we both found it such a buzz that David was as excited about meeting us as we were to get to know him. What a pity so many local Brisbane fans overlooked this weekend's event. I don't think I saw one poster for the con in a bookshop, but Quest members had been made aware of the day, but they were rather thin on the ground. Oh well, their loss.


David R George III (left) and Ian McLean. Jack Donner and Ian McLean.

The small, intimate affair that was this convention granted attendees unprecedented access to these most generous and entertaining celebs! At lunchtime, the convention doors were locked and the entire party moved to the nearby Shingle Inn for lunch, and then wandered back for more hobnobbing. Thanks for a great time at the convention, and have a safe trip back to the US on Tuesday, Jack, David and Karen! Hope to see you again soon.


Ian McLean with Karen and David R George III
at Sci-Nut Convention, Brisbane, 2007.

In a moment, I shall weigh myself and see what damage all this feasting and hobnobbing has done to my dieting efforts...

Sunday's magic number: 95.0 - drat! Musta been those damned "Krispy Kreme" donuts Maria made me buy for her at Sydney airport on Friday night. (Or Saturday's lemon cheesecake, or Saturday night's chocolate Bavarian, or Sunday's carrot cake...) Sigh. Back to the old drawing board...

Number 96 and the Demidenko connection

Well, what a surprise! Viewers of tonight's Where Are They Now probably guessed that the two (extra) special guests on the Number 96 reunion special would be iconic members of the cast, but I was anticipating Joe Hasham (as homosexual law student, Don Finlayson) and Abigail (as the vivacious but virginal Bev Houghton).

Now, I did know that the researchers at Network 7 really wanted Abigail on the show, and were having trouble tracking her down last year; she was thought to be in Europe, and even her agent had not heard from her in ages. Joe wasn't a difficulty; he'd already been a surprise guest for John Orcsik in the old Peter Luck version of Where Are They Now (1997).

It was a thrill to learn that Chard Hayward (as Don's campy lover, Dudley Butterfield) had agreed to return to Australia for Where Are They Now, to catch up with his former cast mates after 30 years. About ten years ago, the cast had tried to involve Chard with a literary project they were working on, but he preferred to stay focused on his new life as a director/actor in the USA. (Maybe you noticed his credit on early episodes of "Lost", on which he consulted about the Australian aspects of the scripts?)

Tonight's show can be summarised thusly:
WHERE ARE THEY NOW. (8/7/2007)
Presented by Melissa Doyle and David Koche. Featured Jeff Kevin (Arnold Feather), Sheila Kennelly (Norma Whittaker), Elaine Lee (Vera Collins Sutton), James Elliott (Alf Sutcliffe), Elisabeth Kirkby (Lucy Sutcliffe), Frances Hargreaves (Marilyn MacDonald), Chantal Contouri (as the pantyhose strangler herself: Tracey Wilson), and surprise guests, Joe Hasham (Don Finlayson) and Chard Hayward (Dudley Butterfield).

From the Archives: Ian McLean meets the Pantyhose Strangler!

But for me, the biggest surprise tonight happened after the Number 96 segment: the appearance of controversial author, Helen Demidenko (aka Helen Darville, now aka Helen Dale), of The Hand That Signed the Paper infamy! What an amazing personal coincidence! You don't see a connection? Please allow me to explain:

Way back in 1995, I received the wonderful news that publishing company Allen & Unwin was considering offering me a contract for the book I'd proposed (and had half-finished): my social history on Number 96. My agent, Selwa Anthony, and I had just had lunch with the Allen & Unwin editor, and it all seemed extremely positive.

Arriving home, I immediately rang four people who'd been of significant assistance in getting my proposal out into the world of publishing: Nancy Cash, widow of Don Cash, from the team who originally produced Number 96; David Sale, the creator of the show, who'd been so supportive and generous of his time; and Valerie Parv and Natalie Jane Prior, two longtime friends who'd already become successful, published authors.

After his encouraging words of hopeful congratulation for the safe arrival of my first contract, David Sale had made some very witty jokes about Allen & Unwin's then-current debacle to do with Helen Demidenko, and the accusations of misrepresentation and plagiarism that were dogging her. It had been the only news event being talked about that whole week. David suggested I could impress Allen & Unwin by changing my name - to Ian Demidenko, or perhaps Ian Sale? - and gain some extra notoriety for my book.<

We'd fallen about hysterically but then I attempted to convey these same jokes to my pal Natalie, along with my news. Natalie was naturally thrilled for me having had what seemed to be such a successful meeting with my editor, and that we were about to share publishers, since Allen & Unwin had already published several of Natalie's children's books (including The Paw). Strangely, though, Natalie seemed rather cool towards the jokes at Ms Demidenko/Darville's expense. Of course, I had no way of knowing that said Helen D. had been hiding out at Natalie's house all week, in secret, and on the run from the media frenzy Helen had managed to create! (A few days later, a Sydney newspaper's poster outside the newsagents screamed, "FRIEND TELLS OF DARVILLE'S LIES!")

Alas, my book on Number 96 ended up not happening - the Allen & Unwin marketing people were rightly concerned there was no longer a big enough demographic wanting to buy a book about Number 96- sigh! - but my big day did end up in a book after all: The Demidenko Diary by Natalie Jane Prior, in which Natalie told the world of her bizarre association with the person who perpetrated one of Australia's most famous cases of literary fraud.

A quote from page 139, which takes place after another frantic day of Natalie fielding phone calls and complications about Helen and the employees at Allen & Unwin: "After all this I was a wreck. I had to take a few other calls, including one from a friend to say that his first book looked likely to be published by - you guessed it - Allen & Unwin". (Prior, Reed Books: 1996.)

Sometimes coincidence and serendipity create a synergy that really freaks me out. And here I was yesterday, saying I felt a bit left out of the reunion after helping them find people. (Especially after hearing that my old friend Andrew Mercado had been in the studio for the taping...) Thanks Network 7 for a fun show tonight, and for one more very bizarre coincidence!

By the way, for people searching out Chantal Contouri's Adelaide restaurant, it would seem to be the Original Barbecue Inn

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The (discount) price of fame

A forgotten anecdote from my last vacation: I can't pass through a country town without checking out its second hand book stores, and my recent visit to the south coast town of Mogo netted me an interesting batch of books and collectibles.

An Aussie non-fiction book for kids, about the history of chewing gum(!), has two b/w photos inside: of me showing off my Star Trek gum card collection. The book was written by my friend, Natalie Jane Prior in 2000, as part of her "Ubiquitous Things" series. It's called "Chewing gum: how it fed the gods, went into space and helped win the war".



I was in one of Mogo's second hand book shops in March and they happened to have two remaindered (but mint-condition) copies of the book on display, and for a great price, too. When I approached the woman at the counter, I flipped open the book to the appropriate page and smiled at her. I got a discount on my discount!

So it does help to have a photo; I've tried pointing out my name in the Acknowledgments page of the Star Trek novel "Ex Machina" at bookshop counters, but they're never as impressed, and it doesn't result in discounts.

Perhaps my new aim is to be the next Captain Calhoun and be on the cover of a Star Trek novel. I wonder if Keith Birdsong's neighbour gets mobbed in science fiction bookshops? He even got his own Star Trek action figure from Playmates!