Fat free forever - again (sigh!)

Tee hee. Nine kilograms in fifteen weeks. Not the kind of numbers they get in "The Biggest Loser", so woulda been voted off by now, but slow, steady progress.

This is my third - no, fourth - serious go at the diet plan known as "Fat Free Forever" (book by Diane Barker, now Wilson). I have a success letter in the second edition of her book. I sometimes joke that I should write my own version of this book, called "Fat Free for Five Years", since that's about how long it takes to fall off the wagon - and you always end up putting on even more weight that has to come off.

Of course, it also gets worse with age as your metabolism keeps slowing down. First time on this diet plan (early 1990s) I went from 90 kg to 78 kg from one Christmas till the Easter, and it was so easy. Next two times, in about 2005 and 2007, I went from over 101 kg down to about 82 kg. This time I've had to start from a record-high of 105 kg. I really can't afford for there to be a "next time". This time has to be the one that holds. No more "yo-yo" dieting.

The key to Diane's diet is to treat your body like a car. You never wait till your car runs out of fuel, you keep it topped up. So... huge, sensible breakfast, sensible morning tea, medium-sized sensible lunch, sensible afternoon tea, small sensible dinner. No starchy carbohydrates (bread, cereal, pasta, potato, rice) after 3pm in the afternoon. Walking every day. Celebrate with a Junk Food Day meal once a week and, in fact, your body loses weight after that junk food because you've shocked it and your faster metabolism works extra hard to get rid of what you just put in!

If you think about it, it's exactly how we ate as skinny kids in the 1960s. If we were really, really good we got takeaway fish & chips on a Friday night, or a rare dessert on a Sunday after the baked dinner, or a bag of sweets when grandma visited. There were only about six Kentucky Fried Chicken stores (now KFC to hide the "Fried" bit) and one McDonald's to cause us to nag for junk food. Sigh. Life used to be soooo easy.

A blog entry in the hand is worth two elephant books online, or some such proverb

It's been a busy week, but I haven't been too motivated to blog (here). I think it's probably because I'm blogged out, spending a chunk of every work day jointly-constructing numerous blog entries with Stage 1 (Years 1 and 2 at primary school) on a blog format with our current book rap: on the picture book, Wilfrid Gordon McDonald Partridge by Mem Fox & Julie Vivas. And helping to moderate other entries. And designing wiki pages to go with them.

The quality of the students' answers has been very exciting! The blog format and the wiki pages, are working out very well, and the ability for the moderators to edit out errors in posts - never possible on a listserv - means that we can model better examples for the students.

Predicting what the next few years will bring for the so-called "Generation Web 2.0" is almost impossible. Tomorrow's school students will have such a different outlook on technology and its possibilities than their teachers, or even their older siblings. I'm guessing all homework will be completed (and marked) online, once every student is assumed to have home Internet access. Heaven help those who never get it...

This week, the Internet, Google, Wikipedia and online shopping all came in handy to help me track down an old classic Australian picture book, "Jessie the Elephant: Her Story" by WM Fleming (New Century Press, 1939), the true tale of one of Taronga Park Zoo's icons, who gave elephant rides from 1883 to 1938.

Actually, I managed to find two copies, in different online stores, on the same day. I had missed the first copy by a matter of days, I was informed, but there was a similarly priced one at another site. I shall explain later why I need it, but I'm rather excited about finding it, especially when I found a few on overseas sites for a lot more!



Sunday's magic number: 90.8 - Well, speaking of elephants, I've mastered the art of staying the same mass for a whole month. Obviously, I will be much happier to see a downward procession of numbers again, but I am going to have to change more things about my weekly routines to make that happen. If I go back to that fateful day when my mass was 104kg a few years ago, then I can grin and say, "Hey, I lost over 13 kg!" (In fact, I've now lost that amount twice in recent years, having let most of my loss creep back on in just a few months early last year.)

On the other hand, I can think back to the very first time I went on the "Fat Free Forever" diet in the mid 90s - when I started at 90.2 and got down to 75kg. Sigh. It was so much easier then.

Breaking through

Yes!

I had to move the scales around the bathroom floor a bit this morning, because I was getting some very erroneous readings - the scales were insisting I was heavier than the previous night, and I hadn't eaten anything! However, finally, to my joy there was the magic 89.9 glinting up at me. Now, that's more like it!

It had become very important to me to get past that dreaded 90 kg mark. I just checked back through the old Sunday postings and reminded myself that this diet started on Sunday, August 05, 2007. It really feels longer - much longer - than that, but I'd actually forgotten that, on that day, I was 99 kg. (I'd been telling myself it was 98, so it's actually been nine kilograms lost in four months. The last few weeks I've been quite strict about grazing on wicked things.) Slow progress, but at least it's progress. My body is simply used to all the walking I do, and I really don't want to start doing any other form of exercise. So I guess I'm stuck with slow progress.

The first time I did this diet, way back before "Fat Free Forever" was actually even published (the authors had promoted it at one of Selwa's seminars), I was losing a very comfortable one kilo per week. Wonderfully predictable, highly motivating... and I achieved my goal mass in (seemingly) no time at all! I started at 90.2 kg, at about this time of year, sailed through Christmas 1995 without too much anguish and, by Easter 2006, I was 75 kg and grinning like a Cheshire cat (with just a little bit of chocolate on its lips). I even bought one of those slimline, expensive white T-shirts to celebrate.

I wonder whatever happened to that shirt? I think it became a dust rag, because I only fitted into it as an actual T-Shirt for a few months. Sigh.

Then in late 2005, I needed to try again. This time, I was a hefty 104 kg - I still can't believe I was ever that big - but I managed to shed eighteen kilograms. As soon as I boasted about it online, I ran out of puff and returned to my old eating patterns (and avoided looking at the scales for about a year). Thirteen kilos went straight back on, seemingly in no time at all. It's extremely easy to add a kilogram per month. I know; I've proved it several times now. I can do it standing on my head. (Actually, doing that might stop me from opening chocolate wrappers.)

Ah well, 89.9 is better than 99, just as 99 is much better than 104. It's still a bit disheartening that I'm back at the same mass I was the first time I attempted "Fat Free Forever". That "forever" is the sticking point, you know. Because Junk Food (and its advertisers) cry out for it to be eaten every day! Somehow society is going to have to come up with a solution for that.

I don't think I'll ever be 75 kg again somehow, but even 85 kg is looking pretty great from here. So wish me luck for the next stage of this game/chore/necessity.

Sunday's magic number: 89.9 - Yay!

Back on track with Sassy

Yesterday Selwa Anthony, Australian literary agent extraordinaire, held her annual all-day seminar and gala dinner for her ever-growing network of amazing authors. Once again at the Novatel Hotel in Brighton-le-Sands, Succeed, It's Great in 2008 was as stimulating as the first one I attended (way back in November 1993, Succeed Some More in '94.) The seminars take their title from a little self-help book, "Succeed With Me", which Selwa once wrote with Jimmy Thomson - and it's now available in audio by Bolinda Audio; we received a freebie in our goodie bag upon arrival!

Despite the fact that, so far, I haven't earned Selwa any percentages, she keeps inviting me back. These seminars have certainly directed me into numerous opportunities over the years but so far nothing commercial enough that would earn Selwa her percentage. Yet. Selwa continues to have faith in me, but i always feel quite humble in the talented company of Selwa's network.

The first speaker yesterday was a no-show. The poor person ended up booking a flight and heading to Brighton in Melbourne instead of Brighton-le-Sands, Sydney. So compere, Mark Macleod, brought on stage Selwa's young assistant, Selina, for an insight into a day in the life of being Selwa's assistant. It was a great impromptu session, and it also meant that Mark could offer up what he called "one-minute spots", over the course of the day, to anyone wanting to share something special to the rest of the network.

A few people availed themselves of the opportunity and, in the morning tea break, I was boasting to author/journalist Sue Williams about my Kindergarten students' recent work writing fables on the World Wide Web via a wiki. Sue's eyes lit up and she said, "Go and tell Mark you'll do a one minute spot! If anything, you'll also get to show off that fabulous jacket" *

The next thing I knew, I was sharing my young students' work - from memory! - with the likes of Tara Moss, Kim Wilkins (now also writing as Kimberley Freeman), Ian Irvine and so many other Australian literary luminaries. It was a highly energizing experience, and it made sooooooo twitchy to get to the keyboard. Maybe there'll be a chance for a much longer session at the next seminar?

And now, back to the drawing board.

* Oh - I must mention my new jacket, as seen in the picture of me with Selwa (above). I bought it on my recent trip to Perth (not usually a place where one thinks of buying a jacket, but I couldn't leave it in that shop in Northbridge. It was way too cool!). As well as the upraised silver "Superman" logo on the front, it has a larger one on the back. It picked up compliments all day and night, including a most enthusiastic accolade from first-night red carpet denizen/veteran, Susie Elleman. Someone came up to me later and whispered, "Wow! Susie likes your jacket! That's great, getting compliments from celebrities." But then we wondered... Poor Susie is annually castigated by the media for her poor clothing choices every Logies Award night, and her outfits and hairstyles are the stuff of Logies legend! So is it, in fact, good to get a high rating for my dress sense from her? ;)

Last night's Sassy presenter was the very sassy Dinah Lee. As I always say, it was a great day and night, and a highlight of my year every November. Maybe by next November I'll have a book of my own on the way.

Sunday's magic number: 90.3 - much better! A two kilo drop at last. You know, after the last few weeks' disappointment, I could actually feel the weight disappearing this week, as I cut out almost everything yummy I hold dear (the late night snacking especially). It is gratifying that I was able to eat my way through two gigantic meals yesterday at the seminar (and the Sassy Awards' banquet) and still wake up two kilos lighter than last Sunday, to smile about it this morning. Yay me!

And I should point out that I first met my "Fat Free Forever" dieting gurus, Dianne Barker Wilson and former "Gladiator" Geoff Barker, via the "Succeed With Me" seminars.

Fat free forever: Phase III

Why, oh why, did Dianne Barker call it "Fat Free Forever"? As a diet plan, it works perfectly. I'm now doing it for the third time. (There's an irony there.) Just over a year ago, on this very blog, I boasted that I was mere kilograms from my goal weight again. I was ecstatic! But, inevitably, Christmas rolled around - with all the parties, farewells, celebrations, retirements, and those lazy days of sitting around the house, playing on the Internet and watching DVDs - and I spent all of January too scared to hop on the scales, at least until I thought I'd gotten back to within reach of that goal weight. I also joked, based on my first dieting endeavours with the book from the 90s, that I could writing my own book called "Fat Free For Five Years". Mmmmm. "Fat Free For Five Months", perhaps.

Unfortunately, that day never came. I surprised myself that I could fit into the Andorian costume I won on eBay, and I think I may have relaxed too much (stupid, really, because the costume's made of stretch lycra, and it's designed to hide all the flabby bits!) Very soon after that, I was straining and breathless to tie my shoelaces again. Deja vu! I suddenly had an awful feeling that I'd crept right back up to my mass of about two years ago. (So, out came the scales, and you know, I had put back almost everything I'd so recently lost! Heartbreaking!)

Two Sundays ago, after a particularly unsatisfying takeaway pizza feast, I started all over again. You see, there's nothing wrong with Dianne's diet plan; if you stop putting fat in your mouth, and do lots of walking, then you won't add fat to your body. Easy! (Yeah, easy. Ha!)

Without a doubt, the hardest bit is being disciplined about how, and what, and when, you eat. "Fat Free Forever" urges you to keep your body running as you'd keep a car engine running: use the best fuel; keep the car topped up all the time (including morning and afternoon snacks); and don't let the car engine run dry. Makes perfect sense. And the body's metabolism definitely starts to run faster. (I definitely remember the day that my metabolism first slowed down. I reckon it was the day I turned 30, and so does my waistline. I also figure it slowed down again, quite noticeably, at age 40.)

Dianne recommends that, if you want to eat the five starchy carbohydrates (bread, rice, potatoes, pasta, cereals) then do it before the mid afternoon so your body is not tempted to store up the goodness for later on, when you'll just be sleeping anyway. (Wow, that's weird; there is an "expert" discussing carbohydrates on the radio as I type! Essentially, the speaker agrees with Dianne about their value, and busted some of the myths, suggesting that a dry sponge and a wet sponge look exactly the same, but one will have more mass. Similarly, your body needs to have a store of carbohydrates for the day, and you'll weigh more on the scales, but it doesn't mean that the body is carrying new fat. Cool!)

"Fat Free Forever" also recommends celebrating with a "Junk Food Day" meal. It's certainly something to strive towards! Once a week, with your metabolism running fast, having a meal of junk food sends your system into overdrive, and it actually works harder to process the greasy stuff. The problem with having junk food every day is that it slows down the metabolism. And eating fat regularly makes you crave fat. Of that I don't think anyone would disagree.

Regular exercise is certainly not a problem for me. I don't own a car, and I walk a lot. (And the dog has ways of making me feel guilty if I don't take him with me.) But... I often wonder how big I'd be if I did have a car. Obviously I don't walk enough for the food intake when not on the diet. Well, it's a diet plan for forever, of course, but I am constantly amazed by how much walking is supposedly needed to walk off a bag of hot french fries. I can promise myself to "walk it off" before eating the chips all I like, but the reality is that I probably won't end up doing it, and there lies the problem. If I don't put fat in my mouth, then I won't be adding fat to my body. Sigh.

Without a doubt, my problem is discipline. Self-discipline. If I was more disciplined about my diet routines, I'd still be at my goal weight from the 90s. If I was more disciplined about my writing routines, I'd be a published novelist by now. If I was more disciplined about housework... (Ooooh, let's not go there.)

Well, this blog is doing it's bit. I hope. I'm doing a fairly good job of making myself write something every day, and certainly some anecdotes in this blog have given me great ideas for stories. It's funny looking back over a year of these little anecdotes from daily life; there are some gems in here, that would probably have been forgotten had I not written about them as they happened.

A surprising number of hits that show up on my site meter are from people Googling Dianne and her diet. There's certainly a lot of curiosity about it, and it does work! I'm very grateful to have heard her speak that day in the 90s, and for all the encouragement that book gives me every day I'm back on the plan. As I said, all I need is the discipline to stick with it. Forever this time.

Sunday's (no longer) mystery number: 94.6, yay!

The midnight munchies

It's almost midnight and I have the munchies. I recommenced my diet today, having managed to put back in the first half of 2007 almost everything I'd lost by July 2006. Sigh. I've avoided stepping onto the scales ever since February, and half-hearted attempts to get back into the swing of the diet have failed miserably. (I did drag out the scales yesterday, hence the new resolve.)

I actually started the diet yesterday, but I had to call in to see two different elderly women. Stereotypically, the first one plied me with chocolate coated mini Wagon Wheels and fruit cake with morning tea, and the second fed me chocolate Mint Slices and jam tartlets for afternoon tea. "Please have another one. You've hardly eaten anything." That's not to mention the leftover pizza I reheated for dinner - or, now that I think about it, the low-fat "Lean Beef Burger" I bought from McDonald's for lunch! Sigh...

They say that when you get late-night munchies while on a diet, just go to bed. Well, there's no more "Big Brother Uplate" until next year, and going to bed should help me to get to my morning meeting on time... so I guess I should follow that advice.

The diet, Fat Free Forever works extremely well, and I've done it successfully - twice. It's the "forever" bit that's hard. The diet allows for a weekly Junk Food Day! Sadly, though, to keep the "forever' bit true, one must keep the metabolism running fast, and steadily, like a car engine. Meaning Junk Food Day really can happen only once a week, and for the one meal. Self control. Will power. Drat.

At least the refrigerator has been emptied of all those high fat leftovers now. (Yeah, I know, I ate them yesterday.) Burp!

Homer says, "Mmmmm.... Cookie puffs..."

Okay, I've found an equivalent, morish snack food that may perhaps rival the Krispy Kreme Donut.

I saw them last week in the World Square shopping arcade, which was (and still is) about two decades being built on the old Anthony Hordern's building site in the city. I resisted then, but yesterday I could not go past a second time.

And they are... delectable.


PUFFY COOKIE PUFFS

Puffy cookie puffs are seemingly an Asian delight, said to be "fresh 'n natural", and need to be refrigerated at or below 4 degrees C. If they ever get home to your fridge. Cookie puffs have a light crumbly pastry crust, sort of flaky on the bottom, craggy on the top and - even though warm from the oven - are filled with a cold, light, rather eggy custard. One can buy them singly, but why would you? Because they also come in boxes of six and twelve!

I mean, if they are "fresh 'n natural" they must be good for you, yes? For a moment, I even worried that the texture of the top of the puff might mean the presence of (ick!) coconut, but no. (Snicker, snicker. Good. Or perhaps bad.)

There were still five left in the little six-pack carrier carton when I got home yesterday. Then two more for me, two to share with a friend - and one that had to be eaten at about midnight, lest it go soggy in the fridge overnight. One just never knows when a fridge might stop being "below 4 degrees C" - and cookie puff spoilage would be such an incredible waste.

Monday: the return of Fat Free Forever. Alas, poor cookie puffs, I knew you (too) well.

Fat free forever - again

"Number 96's Jeff Kevin (Arnold Feather) and Elaine Lee (Vera Collins) with Ian McLean and Steve Vizard on a reunion episode of "Tonight Live".

Okay, today's retro photograph (from 1993) celebrates two things. First, I thank myself for finding the "Number 96" DVD today - the very last one in stock was sitting on the "New Releases" shelf at HMV in the city. Stupid Myer/Virgin and Sanity elected not even to order in copies from Umbrella Entertainment for their shops (???), causing me lots of heartache yesterday, and innumerable angry and/or puzzled emails from vistors to my website this week.

And the pic also reminds me that all of the clothes I'm wearing in that scene actually fit me again, and some have even come back into fashion (I hope).

I started my writing life in 1993, and received an invitation to join Selwa Anthony's literary agency not long after. "Succeed Some More in '94", held in the November of '93, was my first event. Although I'm yet to have earned Selwa any commission yet, being a part of such a stimulating group of new and experienced authors is an incredible honour. One doesn't just learn more about writing and publishing at Selwa's annual seminar. Because each Aussie speaker has written (or published) in one or more of a huge range of genres, the attendees have their horizons widened too. I probably wouldn't have had a job as an editor for four and a half years without the self-esteem building and the skills awareness and the motivation that have spun-off from Selwa's seminars. Now I just have to finish writing something. (Or something good, anyway. Or at least something commercial.)

In November 1995, at "Succeed and Mix in '96", Dianne Barker previewed her diet and body shaping book, "Fat Free Forever", which she'd written with her then-husband, TV's "Commando" (Geoff Barker) of "Gladiators" fame. I was so inspired - and feeling Very Pudgy at 90 kg - I started the diet plan the very next day. Before Dianne's book had even been published, the notes I'd made of the diet plan's bare essentials meant that I had managed to lose 10 kg before Easter, and a few weeks later had reached 75 kg, ultimately levelling out and maintaining 77 kg. "Fat Free Forever" even permits a weekly Junk Food Day - and it really felt great when both my brain and my body started craving "healthy" junk food instead of the naughtier stuff. A sensible "sweat free diet" like this suited me well; I do walk a lot, not having a car, but I loathe most other sports and exercise.

However, as with many diets, people do tend to become complacent and fall off the wagon after a while, and they usually put back more than they lost. I barely noticed that, over the next twelve years, I sloooooooowly put back that fifteen lost kilograms - plus another fourteen for good measure! I began to think that I could have written a sequel (or a correction) to Dianne's book. I would have called it "Fat Free for Five Years".

Last September, once again feeling Very Bloated, I had to go to a day surgery to have a tiny carcinoma removed from the tip of one ear. The procedure required twilight anaesthesia and I suddenly realised that, when the nurse asked me to stand on a set of scales, she was going to announce the reading out loudly to the whole waiting room. Sure enough, "101!" she exclaimed, oh so gleefully. My only joy probably came from noticing that my surgeon obviously enjoyed his food more than I. He reminded me somewhat of Dr Frank Campion on TV's "All Saints"...

My (in hindsight, dubious) solution was to go on vacation with some friends who love their junk food, and I returned to work two weeks later weighing in at 104 kg.

Anyway, I resolved to dig out "Fat Free Forever" again - it's been lent out to numerous friends over the years, usually with excellent results - and I'm thrilled to report Repeat Success. It's been much slower going this time. One friend who chose the "Weight Watchers" way instead has spent over $450 to lose her weight. Thanks to FFF, I've now lost 18 kg so far and (according to the more generous 21st century version of the "Weight Watchers" height/weight chart I was given), I only really need to lose four more kilograms to reach a sensible, maintainable goal.

That's more than two Jack Russell terriers' worth of ugly fat I've managed to lose so far. And, to celebrate the fact that FFF has saved me well over $400, I raced out and bought myself a new leather jacket. Honestly, the scent of this jacket is so luxurious, I swear I can smell it from here. (And it's in the bedroom wardrobe at the moment; I'm not actually wearing it.)

My point is, in my typical roundabout way, I can now most definitely fit into the outfit that I bought in 1993 to emulate a TV historian on "Tonight Live". Those cool microfibre slacks once again fit my cool micro waist. Only four kilograms to go and I'm "Fat Free Forever" again. For at least five years.